At Midnight on Christmas Eve

"SHHHH, quiet. This way, make sure you don’t step on any twigs and keep your mouths shut until I tell you, you can talk again"
Seven Canadian fish and game wardens wearing parkas hiked through the snowy forest of Canada. It was a stormy evening in Northern Canada and there was no sign of the storm slowing. If anything it was getting worse.
"There it is men, see that little house there? I’ve got information for the United States that a dangerous Hetty guy might be living there. I have orders for us to stay out here out of sight and keep an eye on it and watch for any suspicious activity going on inside or outside of it" stated the head warden pointing to an old small hut. The shutters were falling out and it was covered in snow. Originally, it was made of wooden planks, but now it just looked like a pile of sticks.
"Sir, I don’t mean to interrupt, but it doesn’t look like anyone has been inside that hut for a while."
"That’s just what they want you to think. They make it look abandoned and really it’s some big secret meeting place for them. We’ll keep watch over it for a couple days, if there is no sign of anything there, we’ll assume it is abandoned."
Jake Berry was sitting on the couch eating a turkey sandwich. It was Christmas Eve and he secretly was waiting for Santa. Although everybody else thought he didn’t believe in Santa, he actually really did. He didn’t tell anyone because he knew they would make fun of him. Suddenly, he felt something in his nose. Jake looked both ways then stuck his finger up and pulled out some yellowish mucus. He had to be careful when he did that. For some reason, he remembered accidentally mentioning to Cody that he picked his nose when he was bored. It must have been a dream or something. Still, he had better be careful. The clock in his house struck 12 o’clock. Weird. How could Jake’s clock strike twelve if Jake didn’t own a Grandfather clock or any clock that made any noise other than ticking sounds? Jake couldn’t wait to meet Santa! There was a noise in another room. He jumped out of his chair dropping the half-eaten sandwich and raced towards the noise. Jake stopped as he reached his bedroom window.
"Santa?" Called Jake. There was a knocking sound from outside the window. He pushed away the curtains and looked out. Santa was standing outside. At least it looked like Santa. He had a red hat and suit on. Jake couldn’t see his hair because of the hat and furry black gloves covered his hands. The Man was tall had a pointy nose. Pointer than Jake thought Santa would have. The one thing Jake noticed though was that this man was skinny, not fat, like Santa would be. He was exactly like Santa in every other was that Jake could see though. Including the big white beard.
"Jake! Open the window and let me in!" Cried the man banging slightly on the window. Jake unlocked the window and took the pane out. The cold wind blew in.
"Jake, Thank goodness you let me in and I’m happy to see you still believe in Santa! Come on, we’re going to the North Pole!"
"WHAT?! I’m not going to the North Pole with you! I don’t even no you. Don’t say you’re Santa either, I know you’re not because you’re not fat like him."
"HE, He, he, Jake, you caught me. I’m not really Santa. I’m just one of his elves. He gave me a growth potion and a beard growth potion to make me look a little like him. You see, Santa was trying some tricks with his sleigh when he lost control and crashed into a tree. He’s in the North Pole hospital now." Said the man/elf.
"Wait a minute here, let me get this straight, Santa got hurt, he can’t deliver presents, right?"
"You bet’cha!"
"Okay, but I still don’t get why you’ve come to take me to the North Pole. Also, I want some proof you’re an elf. I want you to tell me how Santa can deliver so many presents in so little time and be able to always see you and be able to make so many toys."
"Okay, okay slow down Jake. Here is how it works. Santa, with his high technology, has made about a hundred clones of himself. With all of the Santas delivering presents there’s less people to worry about not to mention not everybody in the world believes in Christmas, which helps too. Anyway, even with all the Santas working, there still isn’t enough time to do all the visiting. So Santa, using his amazing technology, turns each second into an hour. That gives him a lot more time. Anyway, all the Santas are connected to the main guy by a new mind-connecting device, so the chief Santa’s brain works for all of them. Also, the chief Santa’s brain is connected to a huge database that takes in all of his memories from his Christmas travels. That way all of what happened can be recorded. Anyway, here’s another thing. All the parents that believe in Christmas and are participating in the Santa thing have their minds connected to the database too. The database takes in what they see so that Santa can see all the kids all the time. There’s this big computer that sorts out good from naughty kids and tells Santa the list. The Santas then go to every house celebrating Christmas and talk with the parents to decide whether the kids deserve presents. Then, Santa gives the parents some presents for the kids and the parents give Santa some toys the kids don’t want or don’t care about anymore. Santa takes them back to the workshop and delivers them to a different kid. If they’re broken he fixes it. Okay now, how do all the toys fit on the sleigh? Okay, here’s how it works. The inside of the sleigh is actually a giant portal going to a miserable Nowland (Yes, I mean Nowland not Lowland) where Santa stores all finished presents." Jake stood there with his mouth open. Maybe this guy really was an elf. He sure knew a lot about Santa Clause. Then Jake realized, this guy hadn’t explained why he wanted him to come to the North Pole with him.
"Okay, fine, I believe you. You still haven’t told me why you want to take me to the North Pole?"
"Here’s how it goes, since the head Santa is hurt he can’t go out to deliver coal. See, the head Santa’s job is to deliver the coal to the houses where the parents decided the kids shouldn’t get presents. He comes around later and delivers the black stuff. But he can’t now so all the kids will get presents and nobody will get coal. Santa has decided to send me to pick up the two naughtiest kids and bring them to the North Pole so he can deliver the coal to them personally"
"Okay Buddy! Let’s go! I can’t wait to see the North Pole. I actually think this punishment is actually like a reward!"
"Fantastic!! Come on; let’s get a move on. It’ll be a long ride to the North Pole. I’ve got some brownies so if you get hungry you can have some."
"Great!" Jake exclaimed as he climbed out the window onto the roof with the man who called himself an elf. I’m starting to wonder if maybe Miguel got his facts wrong, maybe Jake’s the one with the head full of mush. I should investigate that a little further maybe.
"Come on Chief, There’s nobody here. The people you talked to probably made a mistake. It’s cold and freezing out here, let’s go back to base."
"Just one 3 more hours and we’ll leave. Deal?""Fine"
"Okay Jake, get in!" Jake and the so-called elf were on top of Jake’s house. A helicopter was parked on top of the roof.
"Uh, elf person, where’s the sleigh? Santa usually drives around in a sleigh, not a helicopter."
"First of all, I’m not Santa. Second, Remember I told you Santa crashed while doing tricks with his sleigh? Well, when the sleigh crashed it broke to pieces, so now I have to use this helicopter. There are actually 99 more sleighs at the North Pole but the other Santas need them to practice."
"Oh, okay then, let’s go!" As Jake and the man boarded the helicopter, Jake noticed a boy with yellowish hair and a shirt that read, I know that two plus two equals fish, on it. He was sleeping. Jake recognized him as Cody. He must have been the second naughtiest kid, he thought.
"Jake," the elf guy interrupted.
"Yea?""I see you noticed Cody, as you might have guessed, he’s the other naughty child Santa wanted to see. He got onto the helicopter much easier than you did. Did it with no questions at all. Anyway, here’s some chocolate. Eat up!" Jake grabbed the chocolate and gobbled it up in one gulp. He was asleep shortly after that.
Nah, I changed my mind. Miguel’s theory is probably correct more likely than incorrect. Jake and Cody both may have boarded the aircraft but Cody did it without questions. Jake at least was a little hesitant. On the other hand, Jake believes in Santa, Cody doesn’t. At least I think he doesn’t. Maybe he does, I don’t know. It’s very possible. I assume Miguel is right, he knows that two plus two is fish and the four plus four equals squid. Did you ever notice that in most words U always comes after Q like in squid and queen, but it doesn’t in the word Iraq? It’s quite interesting.
Cody slowly opened his eyes. Where was he? There was snow all over the ground and for as far as he could see trees, trees, and more trees. Then he remembered, he was at the North Pole. Cody peeked through the window and saw they had landed on an old hut covered in snow. I guess this is where Santa lives, he thought.
"Face it sir, there’s nobody within miles around here, lets go."
"I guess you’re right, okay let’s g--------"
"Wait sir, look over there. It’s a helicopter."
"What? Oh my gosh, quickly men, into the trees!" The seven wardens hid behind a rather large bolder not far from the small hut, they watched as the big helicopter landed on top of the old shack. It was a surprise the whole structure didn’t collapse at the weight.
"What going on sir? What are they doing? Smuggling?"
"I don’t now fellow warden, let’s watch. Smuggling is the most likely thing though." The seven wardens kept their eyes locked on the helicopter. As they watched, they could make out the shape of a guy coming out.
"Sir, what is it!?"
"I can’t tell. Hand me the binoculars," the chief said. The guy next to him handed him a pair. You know, I once had a pair of night vision binoculars. They were cheap though because all there was, was a flashlight attached to them. It was stupid; the flashlight didn’t even work correctly.
"What is it?""It’s, It’s..."
"What sir!?"
"It’s a skinny man dressed in a Santa suit!"
‘What!?"
"Just what I said," stated the chief.
"I don’t get it."
`"Neither do I, but I proclaim that this incident counts as suspicious activity and that we stay here until the issue has been cleared. Agreed?" The six other wardens agreed without hesitation.
"Jake? What are you doing on this helicopter?" Cody had just noticed Jake sleeping on his back on the floor of the helicopter.
"Same reason as you."
"Oh, well I wa------"
"Well good morning boys! Risen shine! Come on, Santa’s waiting."
"What? What’s going on?""Santa, remember?"
"Oh ya" Was all Jake said as the elf guy person figure led them down a ladder and through a door into the small shack.
The first thing Jake noticed was that the shack was actually really big inside because the ground had been dug up making a sort of cave house so you could only see a very small portion of it from the outside. It was kind of like an iceberg, when you only see the tip and there’s a lot of ice underwater, which you can’t see. It was how the Titanic sank, you know. The second thing he noticed, was that the whole structure was filled with bottle and bottles of hair gel. Blue hair gel.
"Uh, elf guy, why is there hair gel every where?"
"What do you mean? A lot of kids wanted hair gel this year. What can I say, got a problem with that?"
"No, none at all," replied Cody. Hmmm, how ironic is it that every day, Cody tells me I’m a doormat. Very ironic indeed.
"Great! Anyway, since it’s Christmas, I baked you a cake!" Said the elf guy man. As he said it, a bunch of normal elves, (They looked like elves at least, they were short) came running out with a huge cake.
"Wait a minute here! What’s going on? Why are we getting served cake? We’re naughty remember?"
"Oh yea... oh well, let’s eat anyway!!" Said the elf man guy as he took a lighter out of his Santa suit.
"Every body sing! Happy Christmas to you! Happy Christmas to you! Happy Christmas to Jake and Cody and everybody! Hap-------" The elf guy started to light the first candle as he continued to sing. He could’ve done it, which is perfectly fine, except for one thing. As he sung the Southern suddenly fell down and a bunch of men dressed in Parkas with guns jumped in.
"STOP WHERE YOU ARE SMUGGLERS!! We’ve got you under arrest!!"
"WHAT THUH? What’s going on here!" The elf guy yelled. HE flung his hand into the air the lighter still lit. A pile of papers caught fire in no time at all. One of the wardens surprised to see the fire accidentally tightened his grip on the trigger of his gun. He fired a shot.
"Stop them! They’re shooting at us!" Screamed the elf--- forget it, for now on I am going to use the elf guys real name......Hetty. Anyway, all the elves standing around the cake quickly grabbed guns out of their shirts.
"BANG, BANG!"
"They’re shooting! Return fire!"
"BANG, BANG!"
"BANG, BANG, BANG!!!" Flames leaped around the room as bottles of gel shattered. As Chaos took over the small hut Hetty was walking out the door.
Meanwhile, Cody and Jake were under the table eating apples. I don’t know where they got them but luckily they happened to see Hetty leaving.
"Come on Jake! Let’s get out of here. I think the table’s about to collapse.
"Good idea." Jake and Cody both ran onto the burning house and foolishly followed Hetty up onto the roof. Miguel’s theory must be right. Here’s is yet another incident that supports it. Cody’s brain could possibly be mush. He climbed onto a roof of a burning building when he could’ve been safe and run into a nice wet forest. Miguel might be smarter than I thought. Anyway, by the time the too of them reached the roof, Hetty was already flying high, well not too high, into the sky. Jake and Cody were about to climb down the latter back to the ground, when Jake spotted an automatic Nose-picker lying in the snow at the bottom of the house.
"Perfect!! It’s just what I NEED!!" Screamed Jake.
"Jake? What are you doing? This is not a skydiving place. Even if it was, you don’t have a parachute or a helmet!!" In an attempt to stop Jake from running off the side of the house Cody grabbed his legs. Unfortunately, Jake’s momentum was too much and he ended up pulling Cody off the side of the house as well. They both go knocked out as they hit the ground. The last thing both f them heard was "retreat! Retreat! We’ll come back with more men!"
Which group of people this came from I don’t know. This is what I do know. Jake and Cody were taken back home by the Canadian fish and game wardens. They were examined and miraculously did not have any injuries. They happened to have fallen on a fluffy patch of snow. Unfortunately they got amnesia all over again and don’t recall any of the events. Two cases of Amnesia in one life time. Amazing. Anyway, Hetty was not caught and none of his men were either. They all ended up getting away in pink helicopters. The elves in the shack happened to be workers of Hetty as well. As for the hair gel, I’m not sure. I think it’s some kind of secret evil organization with some evil plot. I defiantly don’t know what the plot is. As for the chocolate, Hetty gave Jake, it contained a type of drug in it. Cody happened to have taken the same dose when he had boarded the helicopter, although it wasn’t necessary. I think he kind of sleepwalked onto the Helicopter with Hetty. Now that I think bout it, I think he reason Hetty wasn’t caught, was that when the wardens got back to base, it took an hour for the police to do anything. The first thing they said was "Have you had any Alcoholic Beverages in the last 24 hours?" when they first heard the story. I do hope that Cody and Jake don’t have any more frightening and amazingly strange experiences. I don’t know how much one person can endure. Especially a person with mush for a brain.

P.S. The document was written by Nicholas Makara again. The facts were told to me by a magical talking bird that happened to witness the scene. Hetty is not a smuggler.