Chicken Pot Pie

Location: Jake Berry’s House
Time: Unknown
Date: Also Unknown

Jake Berry/Jerry Perry sat on top of his fridge in his kitchen. He held a large plate filled with chicken potpie. See Jake had recently gotten a note from George W. Bush saying that chicken potpie was the best food ever. So, he decided to try it. It turned out that the president was right, chicken potpie was the best. This was his sixtieth one today. It was then, as Jake put a spoonful of chicken into his mouth, that the door bell rang.
"@#$% @#$ Idiots! Can’t you see I’m trying to eat Chicken potpie! What yu want?"
"Uhhh, sir, we need you to sign here. We’re UPS delivering this base drum to this address. We need a signature to leave it here."
"HUH? Oh yeah! MY base drum, I wondered when it would arrive. Where do I sign?"
"Right there, under all that small writing, yeah there. We want you social security number as well as your library barcode number, and any secret passwords you may have."
"Oh okay, I’ll write them here. Is that fine?"
"Yeah, anywhere is fine" Jake scribbled down some codes, and numbers onto the sheet and handed the clipboard beck to the supposedly UPS man standing at the door. The man walked back down the sidewalk and Jake shut the door.
"Super! I sure do love base drums, it’s to bad I can’t make out with it. Base drums unfortunately don’t have mouths." Jake Berry ripped the brown paper covering the drum and started to play the huge instrument. He then examined the frame of the drum and ran his fingers around the black outer coating.
"Wow! I wonder if this drum comes apart. Maybe I can open it and see inside. I’ve never seen inside a base drum." Jake tugged on the edge of the drum until the top popped off. As he watched, two men climbed out from inside the instrument.
"Hey dude! Like, I’m from Korea, and, like, I like taking baths. Wanna take a bath with me?"
‘What!?"
"You wanna, like, go inside the bathtub with me together."
"NO! Get away! I’m calling the Police!" Jake ran up the stairs of his house."
"Jake, come back! We wanna take a bath with you! Jake!" There was a chase scene in which Jake berry ran like a gorilla around the house being chased by two Korean men who insisted on taking a bath with him. This scene went on until it was fortunately put to an end by Connor miller flying on a hang glider through the window with a machine gun. The two Koreans were shot and Jake was unfortunately saved. Connor then jumped back through the window and flew away. Jake however went back downs stairs to see if he could put his base drum back together. As he looked through the opening, four hands rose from the drum and grabbed him. He was gagged and tied up. Then, after that was done, two more Korean men climbed out followed by one small Korean boy. The three Koreans put Jake into the drum and resealed the opening. The boy was dressed in Jake’s cloths and sent to bed. As for the rest, they took out guns and waited for Jake’s parents/siblings to arrive. While all this happened, outside the window, The UPS man watched with is mouth halfway opened, dumbstruck.
Location: New York
Time: ?
Date: ?
Hetty walked up to a hotdog stand that sat in the middle of New York selling hot dogs. There was no line, so he decided to go ahead and buy a hot dog.
"HI, I’d like one hot dog and a large fries please."
"That will be 5.01 dollars please," replied the man behind the counter of the stand, Hetty reached into his pocket and handed the man 5 dollars.
‘I’m sorry Mr. but you’re short one penny. Do you have any more money,"
"Uhhh, no, can’t you just let it go by? Its only one penny."
"No, I’m sorry but this hotdog stand happens to be very precise when it comes to money."
"I see, well, hold on a second." Hetty walked away from the stand and turned the corner. On the other side of the street was a short old lady walking down the street. Very casually, Hetty strided across the road and pulled out a handful of pennies from her purse. He started to walk away, when the lady turned around.
"Gimme my money back you thief!"
"Miss, I don’t know what your tak—"
"Hand it over!" Hetty started to run down the street back to the stand. That was when the old lady took a gun out of her purse and shot him. He was injured on the floor before he knew what happened.
Location: Florence, Colorado
Time: Unknown
Date: 2 Days since Hetty got shot
They had taken his cloths. They had taken his money. They had cut off his communication. Hetty, one of the mass murderers of the world, lay in his cell isolated the rest of the world in America’s Super-Max prison with the highest security in the entire U.S. penitentiary system. Home of the most dangerous criminals in the United States, this prison was the strongest prison ever to exist since Alcatraz. There have been no recordings of prisoners ever escaping. The old lady down the street had been FBI. According to the police, she had been following him, tracking him, ever since he escaped from the incident at the Santa Cruz mine. He had just narrowly escaped the FBI there. OH, there was more thing, the hotdog seller was FBI as well. As he had entered the room the day before, there had been gasps heard through the other cells. He recalled one of the convicts saying to him,
"Hetty! Never thought you’d get caught. Guess we’ll be spending a lot of time together now. You gotta tell me what happened."
"Yes, lots of time" He had responded.
"Man, you gotta brighten up. You can’t escape. I’m sorry to say they don’t serve yu beer around here. We can’t get drunk. You gotta just stay in your cell day after day after day." As Hetty recalled these events, he made up his mind about something. He would not stay in this place. Silently, he squeezed the skin around his forearm and went to sleep.
1000 miles away, A tall previously Amish man holding a bottle of beer received a distress signal and the exact position of the man he knew as Hetty.
20 Days later
"Hetty! Buddy, I thought you said you was gonna get rescued? Face it, you can’t escape from Florence Colorado prison. Impossible!"
"Shut up, my men will come. They probably are just taking precautions."
"Whatever you say Hettito!" Hetty growled at the man then sat down the hard concrete floor to take a nap. He believed it was easier to take a nap on the floor then on the beds. It was then, when gunshots were heard. Then explosions.
"See, what did I tell you? It’s my men!"
"Right, sure, listen. Just because you hear gunshots doesn’t mean we’re getting rescued. People shoot around here al the time." As the other guy said this, down the hallway, a short man in pirate suit ran towards the cells.
"Hetty! Thank goodness you’re alive! We thought you had died! The purple suited man’s waiting for you outside." Hetty looked at the guy then said,
"What with the pirate suit?’
"OH, well, see, we was all supposed to wear uniforms but I lost mine. So I wore this. Come on Hetty, we’d better get going. Here’s a chainsaw. When you get out it’ll cost 7.99 dollars to Amishland inc. Just to let you know." The short guy handed a chainsaw to Hetty then ran back down through the hallway. Hetty sawed through the bars then handed the saw to the man in the next cell. HE said,
"Here, take the saw, try to escape. IF you do, I congratulate you, but if you don’t...it’s to be expected. Nobody ever escapes the Florence Colorado Prison. That’s a quote form you by the way!" Hetty waved then ran down the hallway after the pirate suited man.
Hetty was taken through a secret door in the ground, leading into a freshly built underground train station. There, he and a couple of his men headed north nonstop day and night driving.
The band students of Thompson Junior High boarded a yellow school but 5:00 in the morning heading for Gurney. He was going on a band trip to Great America. Connor Miller, Sean Graham, Max Jordan, Jake Berry, Tim Ropp, and Connor Miller are all in Band.

Location: Pluto
Date: June 2006
Time: Does it really matter?

"Sir, the super destroyer beam is ready. What do you want us to do?"
"Do? Well, nothing yet. I shall come and show you." The king Plutonian walked across the floor of the huge titanium room until he came to a large syringe shaped object about the size of an ocean liner. He sat down at a seat that lay next to a computer.
"There comes I time it life...when a species must die. Tomorrow, will be one of those times. At 1:05 PM June 6th, Pluto will launch an E698 strength tractor beam at planet earth. This tractor Beam will suck the brains out of every creature ever to in habit earth in the last 78 trillion years. The brains will travel up through the beam and will be stored in the cryonic freeze chamber until further use of them. I have called you all today, to announce that today; we will be testing our beam to see whether we should strengthen it before the destruction of earth. The Plutonian turned the weapon in the direction of the small yellow dot in the distance.

Target: Sun
Diameter: 865,000 miles
Inhabitants: Unknown
Planets in Range: 8

GRAVITATE?

"Now, just to let you know, this weapon can release Tractor beams that can affect planets that are as large as 75,000 miles wide. Any larger than that and our beams will be reflected off and will hit other planets. Also, our beams only work on non-gas giants. The gases on those planets block the waves. What I will do now, to save energy, is fire our beams at the sun first, so that they will be reflected at ever other planet in this solar system. In 24 hours people, we will be the controllers of every planet in this solar system. With that, the alien creature hit the button: Gravitate. There was a flash of blue light, and words appeared on the screen.
"A hundred bottles of beer on the wall, a hundred bottles of beer! We take o---"
"Okay, obviously the ray is not powerful enough to suck the brains from the humans. As you can see, this beam has only managed to extract thoughts from the earthlings. We will have to strengthen the beam. Thank you"
Location: Gurney, Illinois
Time:
Date:
"AHGHSHAHHHHHHHHHH! That was the longest ride I’ve ever had. Turn the radio on will yu? I gotta see if we escaped the cops." Hetty rubbed his eyes and plopped down on a green booth inside a McDonalds restaurant. He had a cup of black coffee in front of him.
"Incident at Florence Prison handled very efficiently. After about 20 men breaking out of the prison and arming themselves with guns, all but one of the escapees have been accounted for thanks to the National Guard. The one man not found goes by the name as Hettito. The FBI has been looking for him ever since the incident. They say that there is reason to believe that this Hettitio is working in Afghanistan and was plotting a terrorist attack when caught stealing money from the poor old lady. The lady turned out to be FBI looking for Hetty after his escape from the Santa Cruz silver mine incident. According to workers at the prison, the attack started when a fleet of planes flew over the base and began dropping grenades. Then, from the distance, about a hundred men with guns began firing on the base. We’ll have more on the Florence prison Incident after the break. Oh Yeah! I like eating soap! It’s great and I like to rub it all over myself. It smells really good!! I love it, and want to wash the inside of my mouth with it! Oh Yeah! It costs money! Lot’s of Money! That’s why, you should sell your pet dog to someone and buy soap, INSTEAD!!!! La, LA, LA!" Hetty switched off the radio and took a sip of Coffee.
"HMMM, I think we lost ‘em guys," Hetty yawed then lay back into his seat ad started to close his eyes. He was startled by a faint beeping sound coming from his watch. The tall man pulled his sleeve up and glanced at one of the 5 watches that sat along his wrist. Along the small screen of one of the small watches were flashing words. Cody Walsh nearby. Just to let you know, in one of the previous stories I have written, you might recall that Hetty had placed a transmitter inside Cody’s stomach. When Cody began to vomit in Egypt, the transmitter was moved from his stomach into Sean’s stomach. Sean graham is in band. Oh, wanna know something, when I was on the Internet, there’s this sign that came up: THE FART BUTTON. PRESS IT. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

Location: Uranus
Time:

Date:
"HE, HE, he! I’m Miguel Aguado and I like typing in Ally under Google Images! HE, HE he!" Aboard a highly un-advanced Plutopian spaceship owned by Connor miller sat a boy with black hair. He was a clone too.
"HA, hA! Maybe, the secret secret access code to the ship is AAAA! There can only be four letters so maybe that’s it!"
"Code Invalid. Access Denied."
"Whoops! Okay, maybe its, AAAB! No? How ‘bout AAAC. Or AAAD. Hmm, you know, being locked up in an alien spacecraft with just alien pyramids for company can drive you a bit nuts."


"Hey you! Yeah you, the one Korean dude! Gotta calculator I can borrow?" Called Cody Walsh. He was at Six flags Great America in Gurney, It just so happens the Thompson band was their as well.
"What? Why?"
"Oh, well, see, I need a calculator so I can use the battery to run this electric portable toilet here. See, the bathrooms are so dirty in these amusement parks, so I decided to bring my own!" The Korean looked at Cody then pulled a large blue calculator out from inside his pants.
"Wow! It’s a pants calculator! Can I lick it?"
"what? NO!"
"Ah man!" Said Cody as he brought the calculator into the bathroom and hooked it up to his portable toilet. As he was connecting the two devices, he noticed a bunch of tiny little words written on the bottom of the calculator. As he looked closer, he read: This calculator has been made of Pluto. The owner of this device is a friend of Pluto’s. Thank you.
‘Weird, I wonder why they put jokes on Calculators now." Cody folded his toilet back up and stuffed in his pocket. He walked back out of the Bathroom.
"Hey, Mr. Korean. Why do you have a calculator with ‘Made in Pluto’ on it? That’s a funny Joke!" The Korean glanced around the park, then hit Cody on the head with a baseball bat. Just then, A short man in a yellow jacket jumped out from inside one of the trees that grew around the bathroom.
"Hey you!" The man called. The Korean turned around.
"Yeah you! You work for Pluto I hear. Pluto’s a bad Planet idiot, I’m sorry but I cant’ have humans running around helping evil planets."
"What you gonna about it?"
"Me, oh, well.... I’m gonna shoot you with a gun!" The yellow suited man grabbed a blue gun from inside his jacket and shot the Korean. Now, in case you for some reason don’t know this. I’d probably best tell you. Okay, when you go to great America, they scan you with a metal detector to make sure you don’t have any knives or guns. Now, as you have seen, the Yellow suited man has somehow managed to bring a gun into the park. He has done this, by using a different material other than metal to create the gun. He has manufactured this gun out of Rock. The bullets are crystallized liquid poison. OH, Wanna hear something! I wen ton Google images looking for a picture of Barney to give to Jake. I typed in ‘Barney" and pictures of Barney come up. One of them showed Barney standing next to one tall bald guy and this other tall man with a white beard a gray hair. Maybe it was Hetty. This other picture had words that read ‘I scare more people in a week that terrorists do in a month’ There was a picture of Barney underneath. Miguel likes to type in ‘Ally’ under Google Images.

"Men, This way! We’ve got little time. I’m telling you, if I don’t capture Jake Berry today, they’ll be no hope on saving earth. June 6th is coming. I’ve got Rock candy guns in the duffel bag. Let’s Go, we’ve got exactly two hours to get Jake, then, we have to leave." Hetty followed by four men walked across the floor of Great America. In one hand he carried a duffel bag, in the other, some cotton candy. The five men spotted Jake getting onto The American eagle.
"Jake! My nephew, what’cha doin’?"
"HETTY!" Hetty’s eyebrows went up for he had no clue that Jake knew who he was. He was supposed to have gotten Amnesia.
"Yes, It’s me. Um, I was wondering whether you’d like some cotton candy."
"Please don’t kill me! I’m not really Jake! Please, please, please. They told me to do it! I didn’t want to, I’m not Jake. Don’t murder me!"
"You’re not Jake?"
"NO!""I see, now, who told you to do what?"
"The Koreans made me do it. They wanted me to pose as Jake and place a special satellite dish in the middle of Great America! It’s so Pluto can transmit it’s mind wiping waves correctly!"‘Pluto!""Yeah, they’re in an alliance with Pluto. Partners! Don’t kill me, please. I’ll give you a kiss, anything! Don’t murder me!""Hmm, anything else I should know?""Uhhh well, the Koreans have Jake hidden in Korea!"
"I see, okay, thanks for your info." Hetty shot the boy and started to walk back the way he had come.
"Come men, I need to go to the bathroom. After that, we’re leaving. We’ve got to make preparations to escape earth. With Jake out of my reach, there’s nothing I can do to save earth now."
Location: In the bathroom of Great America
Tim Ropp walked into the bathroom of Great America. He did it because he had to go potty. (That’s what my aunt always says, "Do you have to go Potty?") He was shot the moment he walked thorough the door.
"Ha, HA! I love shooting people. I wonder if more Koreans will be coming in. I’ve got a whole stash of bodies in here."
Hetty walked across the pathway and towards the bathroom doors. As a precaution, he sent one of his men if first. He always did this just in case FBI agents happened to be waiting for him inside. There were gunshots. Slowly, the tall man pulled out a green gun from his duffel bag. HE loaded it with crystallized bullets then crept silently in the bathroom.
"You two, Go in there and kill anyone inside."
"Why?"
"Because I want you to."
"Okay," Said the men as they walked in through the door. Hetty put his ear against the wall. He heard the pattering of machine gun fire. Then loud crashes. The tall man slipped his gun into his pocket and ran back down the path towards the parking lot. Things are getting too complicated here on earth. He’d best escape the atmosphere before Pluto launched its invasion.
"I’ve got it, I bet the secret secret code is," Miguel sat and the front of A Plutopian computer owned by Connor. This was his sixth hour and the screen, "The code is.... SLUT."
"Security Code Valid. Access Granted."
"I did it! Oh Yeah! I like eating balloons! Hmm, I wonder what I should do know. Well, I guess maybe I should start my own army so then I can kill Connor and use for a doormat! What a great Idea." Miguel maneuvered the controls of the advanced spacecraft and drove the ship clear f the cloudy atmosphere of Uranus. Of course, although Miguel is a highly smart human, he isn’t very smart when it comes to driving a space ship. The ship, with Miguel in it, was sucked in Jupiter’s orbit while passing. Jupiter is the largest plane in the solar system. Did you know that there are pancake people on Jupiter?
Hetty had drove six hours straight to get to Maryland by nightfall. He was met by an army of large jumping cubes with guns. However, with the help of laser guns, they had been unfortunately defeated. While inside the colossal Hetty owned base, a 67 foot by 98 foot space rocket began preparations to launch. There was a phone call,
"Hello, is this the residence of Hetty?"
"Yeah"
"Well, I’ve considered you decision about paying you let us board your ship, but...see...I really think it’s a lot of money. I mean, 5 trillion dollars is a good amount don’t you think. And... Well... there’s a lot of margin of error. Plutopians...come on! How would you know if some alien life form on Pluto what trying to destroy earth.. Anyway, I’ve considered...and the answer is know."
"I see, well, you’ll be sorry George. Don’t come running to me when you see their ray heading your way. Good by George W. Bush." Hetty hung up the phone and went into his office to shut down his underground trains. HE wouldn’t be needing them anymore. IN a couple of days, earth would end.

Location: Pluto
Date: June 6th, 2006
Time: 1:00 PM

"Today is the Day! In about 5 minutes, I will click the button that will mean the end to earth and the start of the new and improved Pluto!" There were a series of Cheers and whistles from the crown d that stood watching the head Plutonian who stood on top of a huge stadium next o a computer.
"So, originally, we planned to send troops out to destroy earth and take the inhabitant as prisoners. We planned to steal all the women and stop babies from being born. However, due to Mercury’s involvement, Mercurite Lasers have shot down every ship we send past the asteroid belt. Instead, we have decided to hit earth with an E798 tractor beam. This beam will attract all solid brains. This means it will not attract ones that already have decayed or ones that have been injured. Obviously those wouldn’t be solid. That wouldn’t make sense. Are your ready for the end of earth!"
"YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
"Great!!!" The Plutonian walked over to the computer. On the screen, this is what was being shown.
Target: Sun of Solar System 756.
# Of Planets in Range: 8
Strength of Tractor Beam: E798
Launch?
Execute?
The alien clicked Launch.
Are you sure you want to launch Tractor Beam?
The alien clicked yes and there was a countdown displayed above the crowd. They began to chant the numbers as the beam began to turn towards the sun.
"10...9...8...7...6..."
Location: Earth (Maryland)
"Let us onto the ship! Please, we’ll send you a quadrillion dollars! Anything, I don’t wanna die. Mommy. Mommy!!!!" George W. Bush along with a bunch of other senators and Congress members screamed and yelled outside the doors of Hetty’s secret base (Not so secret anymore). By now, a blue glow could be seen in the sky, given off by the Plutopian laser firer on planet Pluto. The doors had been sealed tight and Hetty had instructed the guards not to let anyone in.
"Get moving! Start the rocket engines!"
"But Hetty, the president’s outside. HE wants to come in."
"I don’t care, get the rocket started." Hetty sat back in his seat and the countdown began. As the rocket took off, the president lay on the ground crying for his Mommy. To bad he didn’t have any Chicken Potpie to eat.
Location: Pluto
"3...2...1...Fire!" The laser fired a blast of Bright blue light towards the sun. This beam of light would suck out all brains from non-gas giant planet in the solar system. That could be, Mercury, Mars, Earth, Venus, and I think Neptune and Uranus.
This document has been taken over by a robot running on an artificial Nick Makara Brain. The regular nick Makara has died.
Hetty did not escape end of the world. His ship was caught in the wave just as he left the atmosphere. The yellow suited man died and so did everyone else. Let me describe the end of the World.
There was flash of light. Then, for a moment, every body on the entire Planet blinked at the same moment. People’s brains were carried up through the tractor beam and stored in a huge Cryonic Freeze chamber. People’s lives continued to go on inside their heads. Because nobody was completely dead, inside people minds things went on as they normal would. However, everything they thought was happening, wasn’t really happening. Anyway, the cryonic chamber was sealed and could be only opened from the outside. IF the freezer failed the brains would die. The Korean satellite worked as planned but the Koreans died so it doesn’t really matter. On earth, nuclear power plants blew up for nobody was there to monitor them. Cars crashed because the people once driving them all suddenly died.

Planet Status

Mercury: population: 0
Venus: Population: 0
Mars: Population: 0
Jupiter: Population: 78,000,000
Saturn: Population: 0
Uranus: Population: 0
Neptune: Population: 0
Pluto: Population: 986,877,897,664,000
Earth: Population: 1

P.S. Cody Walsh has a brain of Mush. Mush is NOT solid. Tractor Beams attract Solid Brains

P.S.S. Jupiter is A Gas Giant.