Ra,Ra,RA!!

"Shut up, idiot or I’ll be forced to do something I don’t wanna do!"
"Oh really? Well step away from the food cabinet and I’ll leave you alone, old man."
‘In your dreams sonny boy! This food is rightfully mine! I’m the oldest in this group and I deserve a bigger share."
"Bigger share? What is this nonsense? You get the same amount as everybody else!" Jim Lehrer picked up a table and hurled across the room at Cody’s dad.
"Why you little---"
‘Little? I’m an old man, I’m the exact opposite of little! Stay away from me!" Jim through another chair across the room,
"That’ll teach you to listen to me, twerp. When I say I get a bigger share, I mean it!" Mr. Lehrer sat down at one of the still standing tables and bit into a cob of corn. As he did this, Cody’s dad burst into the sleeping quarters of Hetty’s not so secret base.
"Guys, I’ve decided something." The Wendy’s employee looked up from ‘the potty book’ he was reading,
"Oh really? What’s that?"
"I’ve decide to overthrow Jim from this committee. He’s taking advantage of his age and is turning into some sort of dictator. Who’s with me."
"Uh, well, I’m not really in a mood for overthrowing anybody at the moment. I’m in the middle of a book."
"Oh yeah, well if you’re not going to help me..." Cody’s dad took out a gun, "Then you might as well die." He said as he shot the Wendy’s employee. Next, he went into the tiger's pen and shot the tiger. He tried to kill the fart guys, however fainted as he walked through the door. The three men were having a fart session.
"What can I say, you can’t stop farting just because the world has ended!"
"Yeah, anyway, we’d best get out of here before he wakes up." The fart guys began walking out of the room, when Jim appeared in the doorway.
"I’ve made a decision, since there’s limited food left. We should become cannibals" A machine gun appeared from behind the talk show host’s back.
"He’s got a gun! Run!" While this happened, Cody’s dad slowly regained consciousness. Before anything happened, he drew his gun and shot Mr. Norm in the arm.
‘Arggggggggggg!! Idiot! Why’d you shoot me!"
"Cause you---Argggg!!" Three machine gun bullets sunk into Cody’s dad’s leg. As this went on, outside the building a man rang the doorbell. The three men continued to shoot each other, while the purple suited man walked out of the kitchen to answer the door. He opened the door, and stood there dumbstruck. In the doorway...stood Hetty.
I’d give you the quote of the day, but I can’t think of any good quotes. So instead, I’m giving you a quest. IF ever you’re bored with nothing to do, do me a favor. E-mail something to ‘2110400.Hettytime@blogger.com’ See there’s thing where you can E-mail stuff directly to you Website (The Hetty site) and It’ll be automatically posted. I wanted to try it out and I did, but I want to make sure it’ll still work e-mailing from a different computer. Do me a favor and try it for me, it’ll be posted in ‘comments’ link on the sidebar.


"SNAP CRACK POP!"
"How many times have I told you not to speak Jupiteroan, but English!"
"Its too hard for mee. Thee silubls ar hard too pronounsssss."
"What? Actually don’t answer that. Just get me a beer from the fridge."
"Mee no slav! Mee dont hav too lisen too yoo! RA, Ra, RA!!""Shut up Jupiteroan!" Miguel glared at the alien as three more of the pancake-like people entered the room.
"Hee is rit!! Wee dont lik beeeeng slavs for yu! Weee will reebel!"
"What?"
"RA, RA, RA!!" The door to the room opened and 7 more Jupiteroans entered. They carried un-advanced lasers and pitchforks.
"Hee, Hee, look wat wee found in thu stor room!! Wepons!"
"Now, Jupiter people. You know killing is bad. It’s not proper to run around murdering someone ‘cause you don’t like him." The aliens began to close in around Miguel,
"Please. Don’t do this. I----," The black haired boy glanced around the room and began to edge towards the right.
"Yu ar u bad teecher Meegel!! Yu wil pay for your akshuns!" As the Jupiteroans raised their pitchforks, Miguel grabbed a Mercurite laser from his jacket and shot one. Taken by surprise, the foreign life forms turned to look at their dead friend. Miguel jumped onto some rotten tomatoes lying on the floor and slid into the control room. He shut the large iron door behind him and locked in once, twice, thrice.
As the boy sat the computer, sweat dripped from his forehead. He grabbed the steering module (Kind of like a steering wheel only different) and directed the ship towards earth. Grabbing the speed lever, the tired boy fainted from pure exhaustion and in doing so, pulled the lever all the way down, heading the ship full speed towards the sun.
I wonder if Miguel worships the ten-legged god. Incase you don’t know, the ten legged got is this god with usually ten legs and is filled with water. There is a religion called the Chutengodian religion where the members worship this god. It’s in a book called ‘Godless’ There’s one more thing about the god I think you should know; It’s a water tower. Don’t read the book, it’s boring.


"We must load the ships and depart immediately. Darn that Pluto, those plutopians thinking they can just run around murdering entire planets. How dare they think they could wipe out Planet mercury! Little did they, or do they, know that Planet Mercury is very advanced and is protected against any planet throwing tractor beams at us. I’ve got twenty super animals onboard the ships. Shall we take off, Sean?"
"Yes, Mr. Second in Command, and thank you again for buying me back form Pluto and bringing me back to life. Trust me, I am much obliged."
"No problem king. We must go though. No time to waste." As the second in command Mercurite said this, another, less powerful Mercurite walked over to him and Sean.
"Sir, there is an unknown vessel floating extremely close to the sun. We tried to contact it but there was no answer."
‘Then try a faster frequency."
"Already did that sir, still no answer."
"Okay, thank you slave," The Mercurite then turned to Sean, "Is it all right if you head out to check this ship out before we set forth to battle? This ship may be a Plutopian spy."
"Fine with me. Whatever you want. I don’t really care."
"Then we shall take off and take the ship," The second in command said as he turned to board his ship.


"H-h-Hetty. I-I wasn’t expecting you here. N-now. I-I mean...aren’t you dead?" Hetty grabbed the man collar and lifted him into the air.
‘Listen here purple man. I left you in charge of my base with the secret password. Then I leave. Immediately after I leave you go and let a bunch of strangers into my base with guns and allow them to run around shooting each other!!"
"Hetty, you must understand. I-I thought you were dead."
"You thought! You thought... you know, thoughts are not always correct!"
"Sir, earth has ended. Almost everybody is dead, there’s no chance in getting any body saved without making alliances and helping them."
"No way to save anybody, huh? Maybe you ought to take a little look out side!!" Hetty stepped away from the door to let the purple suited man see outside. Cars zoomed past on the streets, and birds tweeted from the trees.
"So, purple man. What were you saying about there being no way?" As he said this, Cody’s dad rounded the corner, gun in hand. Blood was splattered across his yellow shirt. He gasped as he caught sight of Hetty.
"Boss!! I mean, hello Hetty. I just spilled some Tabasco sauce on me."
‘Tabasco sauce huh? I thought you said you didn’t like eating hot stuff."
"Err...I don’t. But...I decide to try it one more time."
"I see. Well, I think you and Mr. Purple suited man over there best come with me. There’s something I’d like to show you." The two men followed Hetty through the hallways and into a small room. Hetty shut the door behind them.
"So, Hetty, what’cha wanna talk to us about?" The purple suited man said.
‘I want to talk to you about the world. I suppose you two are wondering how I have managed on bringing all these people back. Correct?"
"Sure we did boss. Did you think we’ve been spying on you all this time and already knew how you did it?"
‘Don’t be a smart alec Purple man. Here’s how I did it. First, the very advanced Xonvers bought about a third of the brains from Pluto. I was brought back to life and left in an unlocked room. I, being as clever as I am, left the room and cooked up a disguise. I killed a Xonver and took his place, from there; I posed as a Xonver for a while until I had enough money to buy a ship. I then traveled to Pluto to get the rest of the brains back. Knowing I could not do anything with them myself, I sold them to Xonver for more money."

You are now being sent back in time to when ‘Canadian Bacon’ had just started. It easier for you to understand Hetty’s deal making with Pluto if you were hearing about first hand, instead of me telling you what Hetty was telling the purple suited man. Thank you.

"Boss, I suggest you’d best come over and look at this. There’s a Xonver ship hovering over us. It’s been sitting there for the last hour." The head plutopians walked over to the window of the high security complex in which the two aliens were in.
"Hmmm, Yes. Signal it, if you please. Ask it what it’s doing on our property. Do be nice about it though, I don’t want hem inspecting us. Our base is in no shape to be inspected by the health department, or the police department."
"Okay," The assistant Plutopian began to talk through a radio device,
"This is the Plutopian headquarters to Xonver ship. Do you read me Xonver ship, please answer."
"Course’ I read you Plutopian."
"What are you doing hovering over us?"
"What am I doing? Well, let’s say this, either you give me permission to land on your space port or I’ll arrest you for destroying an un-advanced planet."‘Excuse me? I don’t really know what you mean. I---"
"You know what I mean. You destroyed earth with a tractor beam and still have two-thirds of the earthling brains hidden on your planet. I suggest you grant my permission or I’ll come back with a search warrant." The Plutopian paused, then spoke in the radio,
‘Your permission is granted, Xonver ship."
Hetty, who drove the ship, landed in the port. He climbed out of the ship followed by two Xonver guards. A loud gasp escaped form the head plutopians mouth as he recognized his previous trader.
‘Hetty!! How did you…I mean, didn’t you brain…errr, I demand you get off my property or I’ll radio the police!!!"
"The police? Yes, well I doubt they’ll help someone who has broken the law!!! Besides, I just happen to be friends with the police."
"Listen here Hetty boy, I don’t what you’re doing here but let me get this straight, you’d better not open your mouth about the destruction of earth or else."
"Or else what?" Hetty said. The head Plutopian kept silent.
"Okay, Plutonian, listen I’ve got a deal to propose. You, are two give me the rest of the earthling brains, and in return I’ll……."
"You’ll do what Hetty. You have nothing we want. Any puny earthling thing you have to offer is useless to us. Your money is worthless; your planet is already taken over. What is it that you propose to give us?""If you give the rest of the brains…I’ll give you your nephew back."
"Listen here wise guy, I don’t know what son you’re talking about but I do know that the Plutopians are not missing any nephews and even if we did, you certainly wouldn’t have him."
"Oh really? Stop playing dumb Plutopian, I know all about what happened. Jake Berry, he can twitch his eyes, he’s got to Plutopian. One of his parents was probably a relative to you and was working for you during the days you were still just studying earth. You brought an earthling over to study and he falls in love with her. He marries her. You demanded he kill her (Cause she’s form a different planet) but instead he hijacked a Plutopian ship and went to earth."
‘Hetty, Yo-----"
"You selfish beings went after him and disguised yourselves to arrest him and kill his wife. However, you soon realized that finding him and getting him was impossible so you decided to go for his son. Only one son had inherited the Plutopian killing power, you would kidnap that son and hod him for ransom. The son for the wife. The one day the two were in the helicopter with Jake flying over Alaska, you jerked the aircraft and got Jake knocked out. Then you transformed into bears and caught him at the bottom. You lived with him waiting for a ship to pick you and Jake up, but Mr. Perry went after his son. He stole him back and you could not continue to pursue him for your air conditioning bill was too high. You hired me to find him; Cody was just a decoy so I wouldn’t catch on to your connection to Jake. Am I right??" The head Plutopian looked at his feet,
‘Correct," He said.
"Good, now here’s the deal. You give me the rest of the brains and I, in return, will keep quiet about what you did and return your nephew to you. You can do whatever you like to him after that. Deal?"
‘Deal." Hetty nodded.
"Load the brains onto my ship."
37 Plutopian slaves transported the brains one by one, into cooler, across the two docks, and then into the Xonver cryonic freeze chamber. It took quite a while, but eventually, every single brain was on the Xonver ship.
We are now heading back to normal time. Thank you for being cooperative.
"Wow Hetty, that’s cool. You know what, I think we’ve got the boy you’re looking for right here in the base. He’s in the chicken pen playing with the roosters. I’ll go get him okay?"
‘That won’t be necessary purple suited man. See I’m not returning the head plutopian’s son to him. In fact, I’ve already given the intergalactic police proof that Pluto has aimed a tractor beam at earth."
‘But Hetty, I thought you made a deal not to, I thought ----"
"I know what you thought idiot. Listen closely, in my coat here is a small portable laptop," Hetty extracted a small computer form inside his coat and opened it up on the table, " I’ve been given instructions from Xonver to destroy Pluto. Once I had traveled back to earth to make sure the brains Pluto gave us are the real brains, I am to type in the Access code and certify the command in the computer. Once certified, a large missile will be launched form Planet Xonver and a colossal asteroid will be knocked off it’s course and into a knew one. The new course will blow it directly towards Pluto. It extremely close to the small planet now so once hit towards Pluto; there will be not enough time for Pluto to destroy it by laser. Bye, Bye, Pluto."
Hetty placed his fingerprint on the fingerprint pad on the bottom right hand side of the computer. The screen lit up and words appeared before him.






Command:
Launch Size 5 missile at given location.

Target: Large sized asteroid
Certify or Cancel?
Hetty certified the command and the missile was launched. The small planet known as Pluto disappeared from existence a couple seconds later.
Just so you know, the empty spot where Pluto once was, got filled by a planet the exact sized of Pluto and the exact mass. The only difference is that this planet did not have intelligent life on it. It was put there by the Health department to ensure that no surrounding planets suffered from side affects due to a missing planet. Better to keep things as they were, just in case.
"That’s weird, I can see Pluto but there seems to be nobody living on it. Looks like somebody already finished our job guys, might as well get back to Mercury. I think I left a pie in the oven."
"Now what Hetty? If Pluto is no longer in existence, and you don’t need to capture Jake or Cody. Then why, may I ask, are we gonna do?"
"Well, We could----------------" Before Hetty could finish his sentence, the door to the not so secret base barged open, and a man walked in. This man was Mr. Perry. (Mr. Berry. We’ll call him Mr. Berry for now on, just so you don’t get confused.)
"I know what you could do, you could give me my son back. Thanks to you, Pluto and the Plutopian government are gone; I can do as I please. For years on end, I have been forced to keep the Plutopian killing powers I posses a secret for Pluto would be able to sense the power through advanced radar. Now that they are gone, I can use it however I want. Hetty, I suggest you do what I say or you might find yourself dead on the floor with mud on your chest and blood on your vest!!"
‘I take it you mean ‘blood on my chest and mud on my vest, not mud on my chest and blood on my vest?"
"Yes that’s what I mean. Now hand over my Jakey!!" As Hetty stood in the room staring in awe, the roof began to collapse. A fleet of Koreans jumped into the building and grabbed Mr. Berry from behind. They tied his fingers up making sure each one was unable to touch another one.
"You there, You, in the suit," A Korean pointed to Hetty.
"Me?""Yeah, you. The intergalactic health and peace department thanks you for leading us to this Plutopian. Our job is to keep advanced aliens away from primitive planets to insure the planet has the proper time to gain technology. IF not for us, there would most likely be only one race of life in the universe, small developing races would be destroyed by larger more advanced ones like Pluto. We’ve been after this guy for a while; it’s the fourth time Pluto interferes with earth. The first time was when their laser malfunctioned and they accidentally killed off the dinosaurs. Then they accidentally dropped a bomb on the planet and broke apart Pangea.
"Oh, no problem. It was no problem at all."
"Yes, but anyhow, here’s a coupon from Pizza Cucina in trade for your help. Good deeds can not go un-rewarded!" The so-called Koreans left the building, Mr. Berry in hand.
You know, I would continue this document, but I can’t exactly think of anything that is this-storyish. I think I’ll just end this account here, and start on my next one. Yes, it’s disappointing, I know this document in only 7-8 pages long. There’s nothing else I can think of though. Tell you what, I’ll do my best to lengthen this story but don’t expect any miracles.

Random Events

There are things that have happened that you did not here about in some of my stories. If you have noticed, I don’t usually put everybody who wants to be in a story in every story. Because of this, the people who I have decided not to include still have the things they did while the story took place. Here are some things that took place when a person was not doing something in a story.

Jake and Cody

"Hey Jake, wanna play ‘guess what I’m a thinkin that you’re thinkin’ that I’m thinkin’?"
"Errr…What’s that Cody?"
‘Oh it’s this cool game where you get 3 guesses to guess what I’m thinkin gin my head. So, wanna play."
"Is there a prize?"
‘Sure. If you can guess what I’m thinking in three guesses I’ll give you 20 dollars. If you can’t, then you have to give me 70 dollars. Deal?"
‘Sure."
‘Okay, ready? Start guessing." Jake took his fake beard out of his pocket and began to scratch it.
"Are you thinking about kissing me?"
"No."
"Good. Uhhh…are you thinking about money?"
"Nope. I almost did though. Last guess."
"I know, you’re thinking about wining this game!!!!"‘Wrong. I’m thinking Arbys"

"Hello, How much is a Whopper may I ask?" Cody Walsh stood at the ordering area of the Burger King restaurant by the cemetery
"Uhhh, I don’t know. I just started working here and I’m not sure what the prices and I don’t know how to work this computer."
"Oh, well let’s just pretend it’s 24.99 okay? That sounds like a reasonable price."
‘Sure."
"Okay, I’d like a Whopper with exactly two 23rds of ketchup put exactly 1mm below the top of the patty burger of the Whopper. I’d also like you to paint the bun orange with edible paint and put some ice cream inside a hefty garbage bag. Put he bag and the ice cream into the burger. Make sure you put a table spoon of Jam onto he patty, which has been cooked for 10 minutes, and spread it evenly all around. Got it?"
"Yes. I’ve got it all written down on this pad. We’ll have just the way described it, after all, our slogan is ‘Have it your way’"
‘Thanks" Cody unfortunately had to wait an hour before his Whopper was given to him. He had to pay 76 dollars extra too. The restaurant didn’t have any Hefty garbage bags handy.

Connor Miller

"This is outrageous!! How can you say you don’t sell any deep fried salads!! I say, You ought to cook one of your dopey fruity salads on a deep fryer and sell it to me. I’ll pay you twice the normal price of the salad."
"I’m sorry, kid. We’re not gonna cook you a salad no matter how hard you beg. It’s a waist of oil and time and patience. Now get out of this restaurant or we’ll call the cops."
"Fine!!! I’ll leave, but before I do, let me say something. I am certainly NOT LOVING IT HERE!!!!" Connor Miller walked out of the restaurant and onto the sidewalk. He went over to Sears and bought some spray paint then walked back over to McDonalds. He added in an arrow between the I’M and the LOVING on the sign outside the restaurant. He wrote on top of the arrow NOT.
‘That’ll teach those McDonaldians to cook me a salad whenever I say I want a deep fried salad.

The Yellow Suited Man

"Hello, can you please tell me where the nearest McDonalds is."
"Your location may I ask"
‘I’m on the South Pole of Mars inside a spaceship factory."
"MHMM, The nearest McDonalds is located approx. 100,000 miles away from the sun on a medium sized asteroid. Thank you for using, find it now. Your bill will arrive in the mail." The Yellow suited man jumped in a space ship and headed towards the asteroid belt. Before you read on, here are some facts about McDonalds.

1. How many McDonald's are there in Canada?
There are more than 1,375 McDonald's restaurants in Canada employing more than 77,000 Canadians. .

2. How many McDonald's are there worldwide?
McDonald's operates over 31,000 restaurants worldwide, employing more than 1.5 million people.

3. In how many countries does McDonald's operate?
McDonald's operates in more than 119 countries on six continents. (Not on Antarctica)

4. Where is the busiest McDonald's in Canada?
The busiest McDonald's in Canada is located in Cambridge, Ontario on Canada's busiest Highway, the 401.

5. How many customers does McDonald's serve every day in Canada?
We serve millions of Canadians in our restaurants across the country every day.

6. How many customers does McDonald's serve every day around the world?
Every day McDonald's serves more than 47 million customers around the world.

McDonalds is supposedly world wide, but did you ever think that it was intergalactic or maybe even….Universal? Anyway, let’s get back to the story.


"Hello, What’s your special today?"
"Today’s special is the chicken McPerson meal. Comes with Fries and a Drink."
"Err... What exactly is in the McPerson."
‘It’s a chicken McPerson. It contains chicken and a cooked human. They’ve been selling like hotcakes."
"Hotcakes? What are hotcakes?"
"Oh they’re these cakes baked at extremely high temperatures. They’re actually supposed to be called McHotcakes, but everybody decided to just call them hotcakes."
"Mhmm. I’ll order three Chicken McPersons please!!"
That’s the end of this Document. Hope you know a little more about McDonalds now!

P.S. This Document has been written by Nicholas Makara. I know that the ending doesn’t make much sense.

P.S.S. I dare you to pick up a phone and dial: 415-856-0205