Horticulture

"We must launch our Plutopian shuttles as soon as possible. My top technicians have heard from Charon and all space galaxy conditions are okay for space travel. I am sorry to inform you that the proper precautions that would previously have been taken shall have to be cancelled. We launch in three days." One of the more lower class plutopians began to speak but was cut off by the head chief.
"Do not speak. I know what you are thinking. You wish to know why the precautions are being canceled. The reason being is that planet earth is on the verge of a Nuclear War. As you all know, our campus and spacecraft are built with only the finest titanium metal and are meant to endure the fiercest forces of the universe. It is not the War that concerns the technicians, it is the risk of possibly being seen, perhaps being fired upon accidentally. I, as well as you, do not want to deal with these delays. Highly trained Plutopian Engineers on the moon Charon have decided it is best we leave this planet before any Nuclear missiles are launched to ensure the safe return of ourselves to planet Pluto. Are there any questions?"
"Sir, we cannot prepare to launch in three days. A launch from a planet with a thick atmosphere as this one, takes months of planning."
"Do it. You have permission to launch as many Pluto Subs as you wish and have full access to the last of the Plutopian War Ships. Use the laser shooter if you wish."
"The Algae. We need at least 50 tons of it. Maybe even 60 tons due to the extra weight of those to Earth boys you so wish to keep."
"Harvest it from the Underwater Algae Plantations. Clear them out, we shall not return to this planet. They can be destroyed......When we return to Pluto Planet earth will be robbed of its precious Nobel gases as well as any elements worth a fair price on the Intergalactic market. The rocky core will be discarded. Go off men, Prepare to Launch!!!"

411 North Michigan Avenue

Nothing is happening here

Location: Cambridge Maryland inside a boarding house

Dear Mr. Porpoise Soppy Mandarin,
I regret to inform you that you employer, Mr. Hetty Longfellow, has had an unfortunate death. His death was sudden tragedy that nobody could've foreseen and due to this fact, Mr. Longfellow did not have a chance to right a will. You employers belongings have been put in the care of the United States Government until ownership of these items has been settled.
Last week, the board of Hetty has decided that you, being Mr. Longfellow’s right hand man deserve to get complete ownership of control of Hetty Longfellow's property, Belongings, and businesses. All ownership papers are attached to this letter. Congratulations Mr. Porpoise Soppy Mandarin, you have just been given over 31 trillion dollars in cash and over 105 acres of land.

Sincerely,

USDPA
(United States Dead People Association.)

The Purple suited man placed his letter down onto his kitchen table. He took a long deep breath, then walked over to the phone and made a few phone calls. The Man smiled, then muttered to himself,
"The Real Estate Business is Hot nowadays. I wonder how much someone would pay for 105 acres of land? Well, we're just gonna have to wait and see."

Location: Connor Miller's Backyard

"Oh my Gosh! AHAHAHA, I'm going crazy!! If I had a bottle of Miller light Beer, I'd drink it!!.....Wait a minute, I do have a bottle of Miller Light beer," Connor pulled out a glass bottle and chugged a couple gulps down his throat, "Wow, I do feel better now. If must be the alcohol. Let's see what's in this wallet," the boy thumbled through the brown wallet he had found at Hetty's death spot. He pulled out a torn Index card.
"Hmmm, This card most likely holds Hetty's emergency phone numbers. If I just dial some of these and get Hetty's friends to kill Jeff King, Everything will be find. The communists won't take over America and capitalism will continue to be the United States' Government system. Yeah, everything’s gonna be fine. Now, let's take a look at this card."

Mr. Porpoise Soppy Mandarins (Purple Suited Man): (630)896-5475

Connor pulled out a cell phone and dialed the first number on the card.
"Hello?" the man on the other end of the phone said.
'Hello, is this the Mandarin Residence?"
"NO IT’S NOT!!!! This is the Purple Suited Man residence! Got that??"
"Uh, Sure. Mr., by any chance do you know a man by the name of Hetty Longfellow?" "Sure I do. I just received a huge inheritance from him. Hey, are you calling to buy the land?"
"Buy? You’re selling Mr. Longfellow’s land?"
"Sure I am. You didn't expect me to keep the @#%$ acres did you? Nah, I'm going to sell every inch of it and claim my money off of it. What's the point of paying taxes on a bunch of useless land?"
"What about the underground trains?"
"Trains? Do I own those now as well? I guess I do."
"What are you-----"
"None of your business. If you want to purchase something, come to the Auction on Sunday. Good Bye" The Purple suited man hung up the phone. Connor stood in the center of him backyard speechless. He was about to go crazy and Emo but took a swig of his beer before he could do anything foolish.
"That was only one of the numbers on this card. I'll call the next one."
Instead of typing up Connor's exact conversations with all the people, I shall give you a brief summary of them. The next number on the card was to Amish inc. but it turned out that they wouldn't help because they had given up the illegal weapon distribution industry and had all become Priests. Connor wasn't too happy about that.
The next number was to the President Bush. He didn't do anything 'cause he said he was on his asparagus Doughnut break. The president told Connor to call again next November once he was out of office.
"Hello?'
"IS this the Miller Residence"
"Yes."
'Do you know a man named Hetty Longfellow?'
'No sir. I don't know anybody by that name. Maybe my son does, you'll have to call back later to talk to him because he's busy calling a bunch of strangers he found on an index card. Good bye."
Connor Miller was one of the contacts on the Index card.

Location: Miguel's Front Door

The Doorbell rang. Miguel went to answer it. Miguel Opened it. He said Hello. He did not go to the bathroom. He did not Swear. He did not smoke Marijuana. Connor Miller stood outside the door.
'Hello I--------"
"How did you find me? Of all the hiding and trickery, you still managed to find my house. Why are you here."
"Relax. I just wanted to know why there was a giant Blimp in your backyard." Connor said pointing towards Miguel’s backyard.
"I didn't steal it, I found it in the junk yard. It was just lying there all torn up. I brought it home and fixed it. Nothing Illegal."
"Did you here the news? Hetty’s dead and the communists are going to blow the United States up with Nuclear Missiles. Give me that Blimp."
'I'll just move back to Mexico when America gets blown up. The Blimp's mine."
"Give me the Blimp or I'll turn you over to the Government as an Illegal Immigrant! The INS, Immigration and Naturalization system."
"but I'm not an Illegal immigrant"
"You think that, but do you know it? I don't know it, the government doesn’t' know it, therefore, when I show them your binder," Connor pulled out Miguel's binder from inside his shirt along with a small cassette tape, "and show them this false Tape that I created of you confessing your crime, the Government is gonna know that you're an Illegal Immigrant. Did I mention the part about making a robotic clone of you and programming it to confess?" Connor waited for a response from Miguel. Miguel remained silent for few seconds, then stated flat out,
"The Blimp's yours."
"I had a feeling you'd see things my way. Much obliged, much obliged." Was all Connor said as he happily walked back down the street.

Location: Italy

Jeff King sat in an old wooden chair inside a small Town Tavern. He had a bottle of Whiskey in front of him next to a plate with a monstrously sized burger. The Man hiccuped twice then called for another bottle.
'You sure Jeff? That's strong stuff there and you don't look so good."
"Get me another!!"
"Fine, your the boss not me. Don't tell me I didn't warn you."
"Don't give me advice!! I know what I'm do'in. In a couple of hours I'll rule the world, what'll a couple of drinks do??"
"A couple of drinks? Well, if one drink can get a guy drunk, I'd say a couple could probably save the world." If Jeff had heard this comment he may have shot the man, however Jeff was too preoccupied with his whiskey to hear a word. Mr. Kings cell phone began to ring.
"Hello, Jeff King here."
"Mr. King, this is your housekeeper. I just wanted to tell you that there seems to be a delivery for you."
"Is it my new Butt Warmer?"
"NO, it seems to be two small boys. Orphans Perhaps?"
“Boys? I didn’t order no #%$& Orphans. Man, I’ll bet that UPS guy messed up the delivery. 2 Scipio Africanus Slaves, not two orphan boys. I’ll be right over Susan, could you please make them fell at home. Give them some Tobacco to keep ‘em busy.”

With the Hobos

"Wow!! This is definitely the day of me life! Lots of food, a nice warm place to eat, lot’s ‘o wine. Not Beer, expensive French Wine. It's great! The only thing it doesn't have is women." Connor M. smacked the man across his face.
"Shut up and focus! If you start thinking those thoughts again, I'll fire you. This killing program is strictly for Responsible but poor Hobos. NOT IRRESPONSIBLE HOBOS. Remember that next time you open your mouth to speak."
"Okay. I'm sorry kid. You are the boss!"
"Don't call me kid. Now see, the reason I hired you guys is so I can get things accomplished. I've got the money, you guys got the age. Hey Hobo 2, did you get a charter to fly my blimp over South America?" "Sure Kid. Don't sweat it, me and Hobo 11 went a spying yesterday and found us an old man without any family. The two of us killed him and took his identity. We know his house, his local McDonalds, his daily routine. Not to mention we got his Blimp flying license. Just happens so that he was gonna take a flight down south in a day or two."
"Wow. I'm surprised you’re a Hobo, Hobo 2."
"Yeah well, I had a compassion for sex."
'Doesn't everybody? Anyway, we'll be taking flight in a couple hours. Hobo 3, 4, 5, and 6, you guys are in charge on getting the blimp over to some abandoned farm place and make sure nobody's gonna see when we start our trip."

Location: Italy

"Please repeat your names once more."
"My Name is Cody, and this is my friend Jake Berry. I live in Wheaton eating Wheates all day and Jake lives is Oswego eating Osweges all day." Cody stated for the 3rd time to Jeff King.
"Okay, see, every time you have told me the same thing. And every time I ask the same question. What are Osweges?"
"They're Oswegoian Wheates." Jeff King rubbed his forehead, then turned once more to the two boys.
"Fine. They're Oswegoian Wheates. Now tell me, Why are you here and how did you get here?"
"We were at our house. Then we were kidnapped by an old man. Then we were kidnapped by a bunch of aliens. Then we were kidnapped by some normal people and brought here. We've been kidnapped 3 times and have been unconscious for more than 10 hrs. Both of us suffer from Amnesia and do not know why we are here."
"Very well. I'll notify the police and I'll get you back where you belong. I don’t want to get arrested for Child Molestation right before I take over the world. That would be a disaster. Come on you two, let's go off to the Police Station." Jeff King, followed by both Jake the Barney lover and Cody, the brain of mush kid.
Before I discuss with you the three people’s journey, I would like to say a few words. The first of these words is that the 2nd Hetty Movie has been released to the public. This movie, based on the 3rd Hetty Movie does have talking in it, not just music. I decided not to make a movie on Hetty story two because I felt that the 2nd Hetty Story was a bit dry. I put Miguel in it...Connor believes I should do the 7th Hetty Story Movie next. As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by a random thought, The 3 dudes were walking down the street. It is then when the poor and hungry Jake Berry eyed the man selling muffins at the corner of Drury Lane.
"MMMMMMM Muffins. Hey Mr. Queen, can you buy me a muffin?" Jeff King looked down at Jake. The Boy was biting his fingernails as if he didn't care whether or not he got a muffin from the Muffin man.
"It’s Mr. King. I'm sorry kid. I don't have any greenbacks with me right now."
"Does that mean I get a muffin?"
"No...It means you don't get a muffin."
"Nobody says no to me!!!!" Jake through his body at Mr. King then sunk his dirty little teeth into the man's arm.
"@#%$!! What did I do? I'll buy you a muffin, I didn't know you wanted it that much. ****************************************************************************
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Oh, oh, Don’t know what happened there. I guess some weird font must’ve come up. Oh well, I’m too lazy to retype all that stuff up. Let’s see what happens if I change the font back to Times New Roman. Nope, nothing happens. Too bad
"Why AT classes?"
"Be Smart"
"Of course, Of course. Hey, that reminds me. Would you two like to work for me? I'll pay $30 a month to Cody and I'll pay 20 muffins a month for Jake."
"Muffins" Jake asked.
'Yes. Muffins, lots of them free for you. All you have to do is sign a small little contract. I've got it right there in fact." Jeff king pulled out a thick packet of papers from his coat pocket. HE handed the packet to Jake.
"Flip through it a bit. Then, if you've decided you'd like to work for me, sign at the bottom next to the X. You too Cody." The Two boys each skimmed through the long book of papers. Then, without any hesitation what so ever, both boys signed.
"Fabulous. You two will love working for me."

Same Place (I just feel like telling you the location)

“Hey Jeff,” somebody whispered. Jeff swung around to see who was talking to him. The muffin seller stood behind him. He motioned for Jeff to get closer. Cautiously, Jeff edged a slight bit towards the Muffin man. The man cupped his hand around his mouth and whispered something into Jeff’s ear.
“Horticulture”
“What are you talking about nutcase?”
“Horticulture”
“What about it?”
“It’s the title of this story.”
“What story?” “This story. The story about what’s happening now.”
“Happening Now? Get away from me Maniac” Jeff took both Jake’s and Cody’s hands and proceeded down the street.

Connor Miller sat inside his house, plotting stupid little dots on a grid. He had to because Mrs. Moran had threatened him with a gun. She said if he didn't plot the stupid little dots on the grid, she'd force the gun down his throat, thust choking him to death. Not what you'd think somebody would use a gun for.
Anyway, as he sat at his kitchen table, pencil in hand, there was a sudden knock at the door. Taking no caution whatsoever, the boy got up from his chair and opened the door. He was grabbed, tied up with rope, gagged, then knocked Unconscious. The men outside the door carried him away silently leaving very few items behind.
Later that day, when Connor's team of Hobo's arrived at his house for his daily meeting, all they found was a single note left on the table in which Connor had been plotting his dots on. It read:

Hobos,
There has been a conflict in my schedule. I cannot be at the farm for launch. Doughnuts are inside blimp, proceed as planned. I have a meeting with Defero.

Connor Miller

The writing on the note was very neat and lined up. All the i's were dotted with Chicago Bears’ symbols. Not at all like Connor's writing. Yes, but since the hobos were hobos without jobs they didn't really catch on. They just grabbed Connor's Fridge form the room and headed back down the street towards the old farm Blimp Launch site. Did you know Mr. Holub told me to make an Animation a with a farm barn in it? You probably don’t care.

Location: Italy

"Where am I? Where's my Miller Light Beer? Where's my band of hobos?" Connor called miserably into the darkness of the small room in which he was in. A man walked out of the Shadows. Connor recognized him instantly as Jeff King.
"He, He, He" The man chuckled, "Aren't those the most random questions I've ever heard. Where's my beer, where's my hobos. Tsk, Tsk, not good Connor. You really shouldn't hand around with such strangers, there's no telling when one of them might deiced to molest you."
"They're hobos not Homos."
"Oh? How do you know that? Maybe they're both!" hearing no response, Jeff Chuckled again, "You don't find me funny do you? I guess not. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you to give up your efforts. Hetty is dead, he will always be and I will take over."
"Hetty's alliances shall prevail!"
"NO...they won't. See, I'm the one who convinced Amish inc. to become Priests. I'm the one who convinced the Purple suited man to sell Hetty's land. In fact, I've been working pretty closely with the Purple Suited man. He's been telling me all of Hetty's secrets and I'm giving him Cocaine, Marijuana, and Morphine. Isn't that great?"
"Miguel, the plutopians, they shall not be defeated."
"They won't? Connor, I honestly don't know how you got into all those AT classes. Miguel works for me! He's worked for me since last month. After I told him my world domination plan, I offered the United States to become part of Mexico, and Mexico becomes an Independent country from my Empire. The Boy agreed happily to my offer."
"the Plutopians!"
"They will be no help to you Mr. Miller. That Blimp Miguel gave you, well, I control it. Once your hobo friends guide it over the Plutopian Campus, I shall shut down the engine thus stopping them from retreating form the area. The Blimp will blow up, everybody dies. Yes, the plutopians will not care about some simple earthlings. They do not even care about me...I don’t really know what they care about. I only learned about them form the Purple Suited Man, and he wasn’t very specific. Ah well, I doubt they’ll be a bother. Believe it or not, you’ve helped me Connor. I know it was you that killed Hetty. IF not for you, Hetty would be alive, ordering those Pluto aliens to go after me. But he’s gone now Connor. Cody and Jake already signed a contract with me claiming they're gonna be my slaves forever. I've thought of everything Connor. Everything."

Location: Brazil

“That 300,000 gigawatts running through the A-7 Generator. Technician 5448 please standby”
“5448 standing by. Technician 59987, are the head controller drivers booted up, if so, please begin to hook up all 7 H-engines to the Generators.”
All throughout the Brazilian rainforests, plutopians rushed here and their in a mess of chaos. Huge plumes of white smoke drifted into the air from the looming Plutopian cooling towers. Underground pipelines surged with gushing water traveling from the Atlantic into the Plutopian Camp. In the center of all this chaos, one single blue ship stood propped front upward towards the clouds. Wires of all colors ran out of the back storage doors connected to generators, computers, and other Plutopian appliances. Far out, somewhere on the edge of the camp, the head Plutopian along with the head Plutopian technician, both conversed with each other.
“Yes,” the HP whispered taking a glance at his pocket watch, “we have 5 hours till take off, are you on schedule?”
“Yes we are in fact. Actually, in 2 hours the main ship should be all up and running, we’ll have the last 3 hours to load her up with fuel and shut down the camp. That is of course, not considering the flight planning and mapping.”
“Excellent, you have done well my friend. I will be sure to award you with great awards once we are back on Charon. Many, Many beef cows...A Beef farm...Maybe some Beef Jerky and/or a beef plaque....”

4½ Hours later...

The Plutopian camp lay deserted. In the entire Brazilian jungle, there seemed to be no sort of Alien life form in existence. During the first months of Earth excavation, a total of 1 million five hundred fifty eight thousand three hundred and nine plutopians were placed in the Brazilian jungle. Now, only 50,000 of those plutopians remained alive on Planet earth. Every one of those plutopians now stood inside the one Plutopian ship prepared for flight on the entire planet.
“Attention all un-earthlings! I, the commanding officer of this mission, am proud to announce that in 30 minutes, we will be returning to our homeland!! We have worked hard to domesticate this land and alter it to fit our needs the best as possible, but we have not failed. No, we have succeeded. While our mission did work out as we have planned, we did our best. Nobody in the entire galaxy could’ve have domesticated a planet so vile, upsetting, uncooperative, and Putrid as Planet earth! The preposterous species of humans would scare any creature throughout the galaxy from this entire Solar System. We, the plutopians, are the only species to have the spunk to build a civilization here. We did it once on Pluto, again on Charon, and we have for short while, settled Earth! Cheer my friends, Cheer!!” Nobody Cheered.
“Whatever.”

Location: With the hobos

“Dude, this is like, the most greatest thing I’ve done in a while. This blimp riding stuff is like awesome!!”
“It is isn’t it. Well, we’d best enjoy it while it lasts. Once we finish our task, we’ll get thrown back into the street to starve again. That one boy’s not gonna feed us forever you know.” The two hobos sighed as they looked out over the edge of the Blimp. IT was then when one of the larger, stronger of the hobos walked over to them.
“My fellow hobos. Why the long faces? There is nothing to worry, I have already solved all our problems.”
“How? Did you win the lotto?”
“Silly men. Why are we obeying orders from a small boy who is not even here. We are working our butts off for mere food when right under or feet is at least 100,000 dollars worth of steel and above us is at least 50,000 dollars worth of Hydrogen and Helium gas.”
“Huh?”
“Don’t you see? Heck with Miller, we can take this blimp where we want and sell it. With the money we earn, we can buy whatever we want. What to do you say pals?” The two smaller hobos looked at each other, then at the other guy.
“But...That’s bad. We could get arrested for stealing or something. I am not a dishonest person, I will do what I was told to do and nothing else. I’m the driver of this ship, therefore I will make the decision.” The strong guy frowned.
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that...” the frown left his face, and a smile appeared, “Boys! Throw these two rebels over the side”

EXCERPT:

“At this time, I would like to ask all plutopians to take a short look out the window and admire the green luscious horticulture of Planet Earth. We are scheduled to take off it...20 Minutes.” The Plutopians looked out the single window located in the center top of the Space Craft.
“Isn’t earth amazing?” One of plutopians asked his friend.
‘Yes it is...Hey, what is that red cloth thing blocking the window?” His friend responded. He motioned towards a red blanket-like material that now covered most of the small center window. The material resembled a picnic blanket, but had buttons down the center of it.
“I don’t know...Perhaps it is a rare type of earth plant. A type of...Horticulture.” As the Plutopian said this, the red material began to move. It rotated around to reveal...a face.
“AHHHHHHH!!”
“What is it?”
“It’s a Gremlin! I read abut them in a an earthling book. They are a type of gingerbread monster that eats things!!!”
“Oh my gosh!! A GREMELIN!” The Plutopian ran tot he back wall of the spacecraft and pressed a small read button located on an electronic dashboard. This button turned on the Intercom.
“ATTENTION!! THIS IS A CODE RED KILLING ALARM!!! THERE IS NOW A HIGHLY DANGEROUS EARTHLING CREATURE ATTEMPTING TO ENTER THIS SPACECRAFT. ALL PLUTOPOIJA WARRIORS ARE ORDERED TO ARM THEMSELVES WITH LASER FIRE AND PROCEDE OUTSDIE TO THE TOP SIDE OF THIS SPACECRAFT. I REPEAT, ALL PLUTOPIAN WARRIORS ARE TO PROCEDE TO THE TOP OF THE SPACECRAFT ARMED WITH LASER FIRE. THANK YOU.”
Shortly after this announcement was made, approximately 20 plutopians were seen exiting the ship through 3 different emergency exits. In their hands were 5 foot long high tech guns manufactured on Planet Pluto exclusively for mass killings. The man outside (It was a man, a hobo to be precise, not a gremlin.) was surrounded by plutopians in mere seconds. Eventually, the man finally gathered enough energy to talk.
“No! Don’t kill me! I come in peace whoever you are, please do not murder me.” The plutopians that surrounded him tightened their grip on the triggers. The head Plutopian, the leader of course, stepped out towards the man.
“We all know your secrets Gremlin. Do not try and fool us, for we are plutopians, a species much more advanced than you. Nothing you say or do will save your life.”
“NO!! I was sent to you. By a boy!”
“What Boy?”
“Yeah, his name was,” The man stammered out of breath, “Miller. Yeah, his name was miller. There was a blimp, and hobos. I have a note!!” The man pulled out a crumpled note from his pocket. This was the same note found on the table in Connor’s House. The passed it to the head Plutopian. The alien life form grasped the leaflet of paper, then stepped back a few steps. He glanced over the note.
“What is this mumbo Jumbo?”
“Please don’t kill me. Honestly, there was a blimp. The boy, he told us to fly to Brazil and find Plutops. On the blimp, there was a fridge.”
“Plutops...Fridge?”
“Yeah”
The head Plutopian motioned for his men to huddle around him. He whispered to them to quietly for the hobo to hear.
“Listen up. There is no doubt in my mind that this man is telling the truth. However, even if he is, why shouldn’t we kill him anyway? Plutops, undoubtedly he means plutopians. The boy who sent him, does anybody have an idea who this may be?” Nobody spoke up. “I see. Very well, I’ll take care of this.” The Plutopian turned back towards the man.
“Mr. Gremlin. This fridge you say you had, do you have any idea what was in it?”
“No, Miller told me not to open it. I heard him talking though, he said something about an old guy.” The alien’s eyes widened.
“Old Guy? Gremlin, where is this box?”
“On the blimp. It got hijacked and I got thrown overboard.” The head Plutopian looked at the hobo in disappointment. It was then when an explosion was heard. High above the land, inside a large gray blimp, a small bomb-like object had exploded instantly setting The huge balloon of flammable gas in which kept the blimp afloat on fire. All life forms aboard this ship were killed instantly by the head and fire. Any objects aboard the ship were either incinerated or began to fall down towards the earth. While the bags of chips and Funionsã were swallowed in flames, a fridge began to fall to earth. It smashed onto the top of Titanium Plutonian spacecraft and came to a stop, still fully intact.
“Ah, excellent. Thank you Gremlin, you have been a great help delivering this box to us.”
“You welcome kind alien” The head Plutopian smiled, then gave a command to one of his men.
“Kill him”

It is important for you to know that soon after the occurrence of these events, the fridge was opened to reveal Hetty’s Corpse. The Corpse was sent to a Plutopian lab to bring back to life by two of Pluto’s most highly trained life rejuvenators.
“How do you plan to get this guy alive, sham?”
“We’ll just stuff a new live down his throat. That’ll make him good as new.”
“Oh, I forgot to tell you. They don’t make them anymore. Somebody said it was stupid to have bottled lives, and it was kind of like cheating. They said that ruins the whole story if you have bottled lives. After that, they stopped making them.”
“Oh, okay, then we could go back in time and stop this man from getting killed.
“Nah, that would be dumb”
‘Okay, then only I could go back in time and stop this guy from getting killed.”
‘That would also be dumb.”
“Well then you could go back in time---“
“Anything relating to time travel is dumb”
“What about Horticulture?”
“That wouldn’t even work. Hetty isn’t a plant”
“Okay, then we could find this man a replacement brain to fill in the spots where chunks our missing, then repair any injured organs with the organator.”
“Now that, my friend, could work.”

After this procedure had begun, the head Plutopian discovered Jake and Cody to be missing. After screaming Plutopian swear words down the hall, he executed an order for Planet earth to be scanned by Plutopian satellite for the two boys. With Samples of their DNA at hand, the two were located in a matter of only 3 minutes.
“Launch the Plutopian Subs from the Atlantic Shore, we gotta get those boys back...Now.” The Plutopian took out a small pocket watch. “We’ve got 15 minutes till launch time, I plan to stay on schedule.”

Location: Italy

“The Nuclear missiles have been primed and are ready for launch in Iran. Too dangerous to be operating them from the same country. The World is about to become mine and there’s nobody around to stop me!” Isn’t this a classic little moment. The stupid bad guy is gonna take over and--------“

You know I hate this kind of classics stuff. It’s incredibly annoying how overused it is. It is extremely unfortunate that I cannot think of any other way to write this other than the classic way. Ah well, might as well carry on. Through the doors of the warehouse bursts the hero of the century!!
“Not so fast Mr. It is I, Pecos Bill to the rescue with my faithful horse Lightning!!!!”
“My gosh!! Pecos Bill, the cowboy of Texas!!”
“That’s right man!!! I’ll lasso you with my bull’s hide rope and through you over a cliff!! IF I can do lasso a tornado, and wrestle a half tarantula, half bull, half monster creature. I can defeat a mere human!!” Pecos Bill rode forwards on his white Stallion spinning his rope it he air. He galloped towards Jeff King at full speed then thrust the spiraling lasso towards the mans waist.
“Prepare to be defeated man!!” Just as the rope flew towards Jeff about to fasten hi together, Jeff moved out of the way and shot the horse. He shot Pecos Bill as well. Just to let you know, Pecos Bill wasn’t really Pecos Bill, he was actually the Horticulture Teacher at the local school. He had a tad too much to drink at the bar. Jeff king began to chuckle to himself.
“He, He, He, wasn’t that peculiar. Pecos Bill!! I gotta say, you have to admit it was funny. Anyway, as I was saying before I was interrupted by that man on the horse. Say good bye World.”
“NO!!” Some random Fat lady pushed Jeff to the floor and sat on him, ”How dare you kill my husband. He was a fine husband if you excuse his drinking husband. Just because somebody drinks, doesn’t mean you should kill him. Just knock him out for an hour or so, not kill, never kill!!!” The lady took an ax from inside her purse and began to hack away at Jeff’s left arm.
“Get off me of me lady!!! Stop, that’s my arm. I need my arms!! STOP”
“That what you get for killing my husband. Now you can feel what he felt. Be thankful that I didn’t kill you!!” She continued to chop at the mans arm. Jeff Hollered out in pain as blood poured out of his arm onto the floor. Before long, a few hairy men, you might know them as Scipio Africanus clones working for Jeff, came our and pried the lady off Jeff King. They kicked her out of the building. Jeff’s arm was bandaged and the bleeding was stopped by the Scipio dudes. They were highly trained in the medical profession. Anyway, once Jeff had returned to somewhat functioning order he got up from the floor and proceeded to the launch control panel. Without trying to repeat his speech, the man reached for the Launch button in the center of the panel. He began to click it however was once again being dragged to the floor.
“What on earth? How is it that I keep being interrupted by Random people today? It probably has something to do with that one Horticulture Muffin Man. Get off of me fool!!” Jeff looked towards the floor to see the fat lady from before once again trying to chop his foot off with the ax. “You again!! How did you g et back in here, get man walked over to the closet, pulled out a 2 by 4 plank for wood and took a whack at the lady. “Get Off!!” The Lady let go of his leg and got up from the floor. She got up to her feet and looked at him face to face. Jeff raised the plank of wood trying to give her another whack.
“Listen here you big fatso, I am here to do what I want to do. I killed your husband because he was a big drunk freak. I’m going to kill you because you’re a big fat freak that can’t keep to her own business. Got that? I am smarter and wiser and have a bigger brain than you so you’d better accept those facts and start praying your final words. If I was as fat and meddling, and interrupting and annoying as you, I’d rather to be dead. It’s a disgrace to be you.”
The Lady stared at the man, then threw him a punch in the nose. Jeff Staggered backward, then, after regaining control of his senses called for his Scipio Guards. There was no answer or response whatsoever. The Fat lady advanced towards Mr. King, and angry expression on her face. Once she was standing a few feet away form the man, she put her hand to her hair...and pulled off a wig. Jeff stared in horror.
“You’re not only a fatty fatso, Your a Baldy!!!! You’re a disgrace to humanity!”
“Mr. King. I suggest you not talk that way to somebody you has you cornered against the back wall of an abandoned Warehouse.”
“Why not Fatty? It is I who have the two by four.” The Lady smiled at Jeff, then took out a gun.
“And it is I who have the gun. Drop the Wood Jeff.” Jeff obediently tossed the plank across the room.
“Who are you really? You’re not just a wife of a Horticulture Teacher. Are you FBI? CIA perhaps? Maybe you’re a Russian spy of some sort, or perhaps some horticulture.”
“I am none of those.”
“Then what are you” Jeff asked. The women watched him silently for a moment, then said in a slow monotone voice,
“I am Hetty”
Hetty took off a mask and a body suit. As soon as he had done this, Plutopian warriors entered the warehouse through the backdoors. They held up laser guns towards Jeff King’s heart, Head, and all the rest of his body.

“Ah, Ah, AH, not so fast Hetty. See right here,” Jeff extracted a bunch of papers form his coat, “These are contracts signed individually by Cody and Jake. The both agreed to these terms and no belong to me. I own those boys Hetty. Yo know as well as I do that taking these kids from me violates the law of the intergalactic space Society and will signify you an outlaw of Space. These papers may mean nothing to the U.S. government, but to he intergalactic government....They mean all the difference. Hetty, Plutopian People, I warn you that if you take Cody and Jake out of my possession, I shall contact the Universal Space police and have both of you, BOTH OF YOU, in Space Prison. What do you say? Will you risk your freedom for two earthling boys?” Hetty and the plutopians cast worried looks at each other. the cow toe with fingernails and hair with peas dot bird was red and green and blue and purple and red and green and toes and burgers
“Withdraw from the warehouse guys, we’re through here.” The Head Plutopian commanded. Jeff smiled.
“I thought you’d se things my way. Anyhow, I just want to let you know that just because you killed my body guards, doesn’t mean I’ll be defenseless. All I have to do is make one phone call and there’ll be 50,000 more of them shipped in from the Korea Prison. My Nuclear Missiles will be re-primed and in three days, will be ready launch once again. There won’t be anybody to stop me then, the world will become Communist and I will become Ruler.”



P.S. This document has been written by Nicholas Makara. Information may not be wholly true due some untrustworthy sources.

P.P.S. This document will be continued sometime in the future. Sorry for the Lengthiness.