einMay ampfKay - Do you know Pig Latin?

EinMay ampfKay

Before I forget about this, I gotta say that at the Ice Mountainã Water factory where they bottle water for the Ice Mountainã Company, there was this drunken scientist. He actually was one of the employees, but he used to be a scientist. Anyway, he accidentally dropped some suntan lotion into the main water pipes and contaminated all the water. The drunk didn’t tell anyone though ‘cause if he did he’d get fired and that would be bad. He wouldn’t be able to afford any more Alcohol. Forget about his wife and kids, they didn’t matter. The Alcohol was the important part. Yeah.

Hetty is seated underneath a table inside a rather large mansion located at 1445 Fox Mead Circ. Three men are sitting at the table with a banquet of food placed in front of them. One being Moolah, a suspicious character with possession of Cody Walsh, Jake Berry, AND Miguel Aguado. The other two, one being an extremely old man with a Hitler mustache, and the other being an old, but younger than the first, male with a beard are the guests of the party and seem to be in some sort of partnership with Moolah. The Oldest of the three does not show any sign of being able to speak English. If you seem to have trouble recalling any other facts, please see previous Story.

"How do you like my Chicken; Friends? It is good, no?" Moolah said to the two men sitting with him. The younger one smiled and began to compliment,
"It is good Yes. However, why does it matter? We all know you didn't make it, your cook did."
"Ah, but it gives honor to a man to have a good cook."
"Honor it does, Moolah. Speaking of honor, I have brought something as a gift to you that will bring much honor to your family."
"A gift?" Moolah asked. The long bearded man smiled then took out a small package from his bag that he carried. Hetty, underneath the table, lifted the tablecloth from the edge of the floor as to see what the bearded man was giving Moolah.
"It was actually antique man's idea," The bearded man continued, "He's the one who found it in the basement of the main headquarters in Europe. I looked at it; and told him that giving it to you was a great Idea. So ... Here it is!!" The package was unwrapped to reveal a red cloth. As the Cloth was unfolded and spread out onto the table, everybody in the room, including Hetty could see the huge Swastika embedded on the center of the flag. Moolah stared in awe.
"Osama...I don't know what to say. I-------"
"Don't say anything. Adolf and I understand how much you love our gift, no thanks is needed."
"Much thanks is needed! This is a very good gift although....... I cannot keep it friends. Somebody could see, Perhaps the police come for an inspection or something."
“Oogan Snoogan Sncheimer,” The guy with the Hitler mustache said.
"So? They cannot search your house without a warrant,” Osama argued, “Even if they do search it, they cannot arrest you for having a Swastika Flag in your Living Room. As you always say, THIS IS AMERICA!!"

Hetty quickly began an attempt to radio the Plutopian Gun Squad huddled the trunk of his car. Unfortunately, within the thick walls of titanium that surrounded the building, he received no signal. Then, panicking, he attempted to Radio Jeff King who sat upstairs tampering with the main computer system of the Mansion. Even simply radioing the middle floor of the house, Hetty still failed to receive a valid signal. Then he sneezed.

Pronunciation

sneeze (snēz) intr.v., sneezed, sneez·ing, sneez·es.
To expel air forcibly from the mouth and nose in an explosive, spasmodic involuntary action resulting chiefly from irritation of the nasal mucous membrane.
n. An instance or the sound of sneezing.
phrasal verb:
sneeze at Informal.
To treat as unimportant: These deficits are nothing to sneeze at.
[Middle English snesen, alteration of fnesen, from Old English fnēosan.]
sneezer sneez'er n.sneezy sneez'y adj.

"Was war das?" The guy with Hitler mustache asked in German. Moolah looked around the room,
"I'll tell you what that was Adolf. That was an imposter and intruder combined...he's in this room at the very moment."
"Spion, Fälschung?"
"Yes...it is the one I have told you about. The one and Only 'Hetty Longfellow'."
Underneath, Hetty's mind filled with confusion. He removed a few injection needles from a small bracelet that wrapped around his ankle. It was made especially to hide needles that are mostly used to inject drugs into one's body. These needles however, were filled with a fast acting tranquilizer. Hetty tried to jab one into Moolah's calf but failed when Moolah immediately jumped out of his chair and summoned a pair of security guards. Struggling within the guard’s grasps, a panic filled Hetty tired to get a hold of his laser gun.
"I didn't think you had left. I didn't think you were deaf either. I Don't suppose you know who these other two men are, do you? What am I saying, of course you do! You've been under the table eavesdropping on us how long, 3 hours or so? You'd have heard everything. Nonetheless, I will explain our names and nationalities. I am Moolah, rich American Citizen with lots of money," Moolah pointed towards the old man with the Hitler mustache, "That over there with all the wrinkles is Adolf Hitler From Germany. Previously Chancellor, then Dictator of Germany during WWII. Nearly took control of the entire world during the Era of the Nazis. During the fall of Germany, Adolf managed to outsmart the world by convincing everyone that he committed suicide. The Truth of the matter was that Adolf Hitler fled from Germany and lived somewhere quietly for a while. He met me and this other man you see here,” Moolah then motioned towards the third man in the room, "The Man you see here with the long beard, Is Osama Bin Laden, the mastermind behind the 9/11 Attack on the Twin Towers and The Pentagon. Clearly, you can figure out he is from Afghanistan.” Just then, two uniformed guards entered the room carrying an unconscious Jeff King.
“Did you kill him?” Hetty asked.
“Nah, he’s knocked out ‘cause he refused to come down to our meeting on his own.”
“Bummer. If you’d have killed him, it would have saved me the trouble of doing it myself,” Hetty retorted.
“Very funny,” Moolah stated not smiling. “Mr. Longfellow, I do hope that you intend to take me seriously because my goons and I have gone through many, many troubles to bring you here today. We tried to hack into your computer to find out your schedule, however when that attempt failed due to your advanced Firewall; we had to secretly employ a man dressed as a plumber into your plumber squad. Honestly, the money we spent buying fake ID’s and radio transmitting devices, It’s ridiculous! A whole lot of Trouble just for you, buddy.”
“Are you stalking me?” Hetty questioned. Moolah scratched the top of his head.
“Hetty, as I said, I expect to be taken seriously. My friends, Hitler and Osama, and I are secretly manufacturing biological Weapons of Mass Destruction right here in the United States. They are stored in numerous places hidden underground where they are set armed to explode/launch. See; we plan to eventually get on national television and make huge news about a Jewish Religious Club. We intent to get millions of American Jews gathered at these specific places fort his “club.” Then...BOOM, BOOM BANG! Explosions! The dead Jewish Corpses are scattered across the ground!” Moolah paused to see Hetty’s expression. “The best part hasn’t even come yet. While the explosions are on Worldwide Television, the United States firemen and Police and FBI will all rush to the scene to try and comprehend what has just happened. This is when.... BOOM, BOOM LAUNCH CRASH BANG!! Our missiles of massive destruction are launched from a secret location. They crash right into the White House, The Sears Tower, The Pentagon, Pearl Harbor, the Heart of San Francisco, Houston Texas, Miami Florida, and just for the fun of it, one big missile smack dab in Times Square New York. New York style Hot dogs, Burgers, ketchup and mustard. All of that is going go flying through the air as New York goes ‘boom.’ Fabulous, is it not?” Hetty didn’t say anything, “Well? Answer me, what do you think?” “You didn’t tell me why you need me.” “Don’t you see? I have the money, Osama has the brains, Hitler has the hate, and what do you have? You have the connections!! Anybody will do stuff for you, like Amish Inc. And everybody who is in some kind of debt to you.”
“Cool.”
“NO Hetty, It’s not cool. You’re going to sign this contract,” Moolah took out a packet of papers, “Or you’re not going to leave. I’ll keep you here in y titanium house until I have your complete agreement to my plan. I will not have you and your plumbers ruin this plan for my pals and I. If you continue to refuse, I’ll have to kill you. It’s purely standard Procedure, nothing personal.”
“Of course, I understand completely. Trust me, I know how business works.”
“Then you know what you must do.”
“Yes...I do.” The guards slowly released Hetty’s arms. Hetty walked to the paper and glanced over the terms contained in the packet. “Pen?” He asked. Moolah turned his back to reach for a writing utensil on his desk. Before you could say ‘don’t do drugs’ Hetty had his automatic Plutopian laser pistol in his right hand firing it in every direction. 10 security guards were wounded and died. Moolah just laughed.
“You won’t escape that way Hetty. Laser fire will not harm my friends or I!” More guards entered the room carrying laser guns. Not laser pistols, automatic laser AKA 47’s made only on Planet Pluto for only highly trained Plutopian warriors. “Neither will they harm my professional gun squad. I forgot to explain about the latest member to our club. His name’s Perry, nobody knows his first name. Joined shortly after the Afghanistan Fiasco with the U.S. finding out about our weapons. Mr. Perry was put in charge of all weapon and security affairs.... You probably can fill in the rest for yourself taking into account the type of technology you carry with you Hetty. LOCK THE DOORS GOONS!” Iron bars were lowered across the one and only door exiting the meeting room. Hetty was grabbed and tied to a statue of a naked man Clown.
“You won’t be leaving this meeting Hetty...not unless you intend sign. Better hurry up or we’ll bring in the gay guys.”
With that, Jeff King walked out of the room shutting the lights as he walked out. Hetty and Jeff King were left in the Titanium secured room with soundproof walls and statues of naked man Clowns. Alone.

What would you do if you were left alone with naked man clowns? Email your thoughts to nickmakara@yahoo.com for your chance to get your thoughts on the Hetty Homepage! Actually, that’s kinda dumb. Tell you what, I’ll also put you in the next Hetty movie with the naked Clown. Wait...that’s a bad thing isn’t. Okay, I’ll put you in the Hetty movie killing the clown. (But not touching him in any way) And one more things, the bottom of the scene will be cut off ‘cause I’m not Gay you know.

Along the sidewalk outside the Bin Laden Mansion, the tall trees began to cast shadows along the concrete as the sun began to set. The long screams and moaning form inside the house could not be heard from outside nor could anything form inside the house be seen through the windows. No passing police car suspect anything out of the normal and no pedestrian would suspect anything either. The Bin Laden did not look different from any other house down the block. The small brown car parked outside the house remained silent with approximately a dozen plutopians Huddling in the trunk and another 100 waiting on call in Plutopian jets about 3 miles away. None of these alien creatures would give any effort to enter the mansion until ordered to. It is then when the sun was nearly hidden behind the horizon, when a kid was seen riding his bicycle down the sidewalk.
He was medium height and weight with glasses and brownish darker hair. The boy, who’s name was Tim (Duh, It’s obvious it would’ve been Tim or Connor and Connor doesn’t wear glasses) Anyway the boy was singing to himself:

One early day I was walkin’ with a prism
He was a casualty in fact of alcoholism
The shape started drinking two years ago in September
I asked him about his wife
He said he didn’t remember

An then there was Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!!It’s what I Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear!!
I wanna Disapeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear!!For a Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear!!!
Yeah!

Yeah!

Then the prism started coughing out food!
And I started to really loudly yell, Dude!
Like the speed of light came the Paramedics
I just walked away down the street
And got a job in Kinetics!

An then there was Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!!It’s what I Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear!!
I wanna Disapeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear!!For a Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear!!!
Yeah!

Yeah!


There were many versus some were either too long or inappropriate or just didn’t make a lot of sense. Tim stopped singing in the middle of the 4th verse. He stopped his bike and squinted towards the Bin Laden Mansion. Under one the many bushes surrounding the house, a small light colored dog could be seen. Tim clutched his heart,
“Molly!” he called, “I have found you finally. Days I have been searching! O Molly, Molly. Wherefore art thou Molly? Deny thy species and refuse thy sex. Or, if thou will not, be but sworn my love, and I’ll longer be a human. A poem for you my precious dog which I have found finally,

My dog’s name is Molly,
She once was hit by a trolley,
She recovered quite fast,
Though her head didn’t last,
And that’s why I’m never jolly

Molly......molly.....” Tim’s voice drifted off as he fainted onto the concrete sidewalk. Near the spot, a group of plutopians huddled inside the truck of the brown car. They listened to every word of Timothy’s love decree taking notes on every word coming from his mouth. It was as he said his last sentence of his poem, “And that’s why I’m never jolly”
“That’s the code word! I’m Never Jolly, that’s the secret command! We must go to our Human commander’s aid and must do what we can to take control of this mansion. My friends, ATTACK!”
Tim; conscious once again was thrown onto the concrete as the trunk of the car was flung open. He lay on the ground getting trampled by the running Plutopians.


“Moolah Sir, there seems to be a situation on the front porch of the facility. What do you request us to do, we have reason to believe the trespassers may have guns with them.”
“He, He, he,” Moolah chuckled, “look’s like Hetty’s rescue squad has managed locate us. Don’t bother chasing them away, keep the doors shut and you’ll keep them out. Our Titanium will protect us from harm. Come to the kitchen, the cook will make us some shish kabobs!” The two men smiled at each other at the thought of cook steak, peppers, mushrooms, and other veggies all pushed onto a skewer stick. Good tastes, good reasons. The thoughts of steak were interrupted as the floor began to rumble beneath the two men. A worried look appeared upon Moolah’s face as he took out his walkie-talkie from his pocket and paged the front-line Plutopian-weapon armored Security Guard Squad.
“Bill Isam, this is Moolah. What’s your status, there seems to be a rumbling sort of sound being heard on the 2nd floor in section AA-C20.”
“Moolah, thank goodness you contacted us. The invading forces are gaining ground fast and an unknown type of high tech grenade has damaged our communication devices. We can receive your calls, but we can’t send any messages by phone.”
‘They have Grenades? What kinds of people attack a residential home armed with grenades? It’s like they were prepared for some sort of war.”
“Well, you know what they say Moolah. Great minds think alike, what kind of nut builds biological weapons of mass destruction in a residential house?”
“Very funny. Are you gonna hold them off or are we gonna have to perform a lock down?”
“I think we’ve got Th---------------------------” The phone line dropped dead as the floor began to vibrate vigorously under Moolah’s feet. The sounds of screaming and cheering could be heard. Moolah ordered a complete lockdown shortly after.

Lockdown: A procedure, taking place inside the Bin Laden mansion in which iron and titanium doors are dropped over every doorway/entrance of the structure. Security guards are all given Plutopian guns and are forced to wear laser proof vests. Self-destruct bombs are enabled in all rooms set off by small red buttons carried by only Moolah and chief executive of security (Mr. Perry)

Location: Bin Laden Mansion
Sub-location: Cody/Jake/Miguel/Julio bedroom quarters

Julio paced the floor of the small room. He lit a cigarette and began to puff smoke into the air.
“Hey Boys,” he said, “what’cha all doin?” Jake look up from the paper he was writing on,
“Oh, hey Mr. Aguado. I was just taking notes about all the different things I’ve seen today. People shooting each other, a head on collision on the road, people cussing, and lots of stuff. You know; this place is cool. I hear that Moolah has a naked man clown hidden in his basement. I wish I cold go down and see it show I’d know what I’m supposed to look like...‘down there’ You know what I always say, ‘Good Mood, Good Reasons!”
“I thought the CEO of Hollister always says that.”
“Well...you know,” Jake Winked at Julio.
“I see. Miguel, what do you think of this place?” “I don’t know. I kinda miss being outside. Do you think you could take me to a McDonaldsã or something? I hate this fancy Italian food. Mexican food is a hundred times better.”
“Then let us go, Miguel. By the Power of Mexico, McDonaldsã awaits!!” Julio grabbed Miguel’s hand and walked towards the door of the room. One of the two, armed guards grabbed him by the shoulder.
“I’m sorry sir, we have strict orders to not let anyone leave the premises.”
“Perdoneme? First you say I cannot go to the bathroom and that I must pee in a cup. Then you say that it is requested that I stay in my room. After that I am denied permission to call my wife. Step aside dildo, my son and I are leaving this place. I can see where I am not welcome.” Julio tried to push aside the guard to walk through the door. The guard moved in front of him once again.
“I can’t let you do that. I have orders”
“Oh really? Now you’re keeping me here against my will are you? Listen here, my lawyer’s gonna be notified about this, let me tell you. This is illegal you know, I’ll sue.”
“I’m sure you will, Beaner. Now kindly sit back in you chair,” The bodyguard stated. Julio looked disgustedly at the man, then stepped back a few steps.
“Ok Buddy, I get you now. You want me to hit you so you can file an assault accusation on me. I get it, well guess what? I’m not gonna hit you, I’ll sit back down in my chair like a good Mexican.”
“Whatever you say Beaner” Julio once again look at the guard, fear in his eyes. (Guess what! When I first typed in Fear, I accidentally typed in Fir. Then that reminded me of the Douglas Fir Trees so I went outside and watered the plants!)
Out of nowhere, faster than you could even figure out what was happening, Julio shot the guard in the head with a Mexican gun. The other guard was on the floor next to his partner before you could say ‘naked man clown’.
“Let’s go boys. We’re gettin’ out of this #$%& house and headin’ to McDonaldsã! Mexicans Unite!!” Miguel and Julio ran up to each other and smacked elbows in the Mexican tradition.

Walkie-talkie Conversation:

Gunman: This is Jungian to Moolah, do you register Moolah?

Moolah: What’s the problem Jungian? How far has the enemy progressed?

Gunman: We need you to blow up sector 77895546 in the east wing. The entire enemy force has been singled out, destroy in 5...4...3...2...1...,”

A word to the Wise: The Bin Laden Mansion is built in an upside down mushroom shape. Allowing it to look like a normal citizen’s mansion, the house is small atop, then spreads very wide once underground. Different than other houses, the Bin laden Mansion has an unusually tall basement. The basement continues far beyond the basements of the surrounding houses. Once deep in the ground, the house expands underground underneath all the other houses and roads. Technically, the neighbors of Moolah have part of his house underneath their house. Too add tot he effect, Moolah has dug large tunnels underground, reinforced by titanium, and has built an underground backyard. Light bulbs are placed around the tunnel as to provide light for the plants. If not for the walls surrounding the underground yard, one would not be capable to tell they were underground.

The house shuddered as explosives were set off in the east rooms of the building were blown into the air. Walls of the specified room were smashed into the ground allowing any smoke and fire to be exposed to the outside. Moolah looked out his window to oversee the effect of the explosion. For moments, dust and debris hovered over the area making it impossible to see the outcome of the explosion. As the dirt and soot cleared, all 7 Plutopians standing stationary unharmed could be seen. A group of Moolah’s gunmen were also seen exiting the building running up to meet the aliens. Right before Moolah’s eyes, they were dead before they could fire their guns. Osama Bin Laden laughed,
“He, He, in my country, that is what they would call a absurdly powerful infidel.” Hitler nodded in agreement.
“Don’t make Jokes! Come, we must escape this invasion while a chance is still ours. Powerful, I have known that Hetty is. However there is no way I could’ve predicted he would have been any match for my advanced alien weapons given to us by Mr. Perry. Evidently, I was wrong. Hetty has managed to obtain the same technology is bigger more massive numbers than I have. We must head for the Nuclear Airport and escape to Europe! Mr. Perry will meet us at the location and will protect us from further setbacks and we will be able to very cleverly escape from Hetty. Long live Moolah, Hitler, Osama, and Perry!!”

“Come boys! Run as fast as your little American feet can carry you. Miguel, good job. You’re a good runner.”
“But Mr. Aguado, I’m just a weak little person. I’m so weak that I can’t even understand how weak I am ‘cause I’m too weak to think. That’s why I do things that are stupid a lot.”
“Too bad little boy. Do you know what the most important thing in the world is? It’s understanding that 2+2=Fish. The second most important thing in the world is being smart and having common sense. One cannot live a life not knowing what the meaning of life is. You must understand now, that it doesn’t matter how smart you think you are, but how FAST YOU CAN RUN!!” Julio and Miguel, the two Mexicans, and Jake and Cody, the two Americans all ran through doorways and hallways of the Bin Laden Mansion. They ran through the kitchen picking up Shish Kabobs as they shot all the guards.
“Run my fellow juveniles! We will hijack the SUV in the garage and drive us out of here. Miguel, MEXICAN POWER UNITE!!” The two did the whole elbow thing. Julio swung open the front door of the building and began running through the front yard.

Location: The neighbors of the Bin Laden Mansion.

Person one: Hey Percy, look over there in the Johnson’s yard. There’s some homeless Mexican runnin’ around.
Percy: He, he, Yes. Get the camera Sue, we can get this on Tape and put it on YouTube. Call the Police while you’re at it. Tell them you’re reporting suspicious activity in your neighbor’s front yard. Give ‘em a description of the Mexican Fellow.”

Location: Bin Laden Mansion
Sub Location: Front Yard.

“Hooray!!” Miguel cheered, “Father, I am so glad. The SUV is just over there and there’s nobody following us. Hooray, Wait ‘till I tell Mama!!”” Julio looked at Miguel thinking in deep thought.
“Miguel, there’s s something that you should know about me...See...I’m not who you think I am. I am your father but...not the same person that you call father.” Miguel farted. “I know you probably don’t what I’m talking about, That’s why I’m going to tell you Miguel. The man you have been living with nearly all your life; the man you call ‘dad’...he’s not your dad. When you very little, smaller than you can remember, I was thrown in jail for rape. Of course, it was a setup; I never did any of the things they accused me of. Nonetheless, I was found guilty and thrown in Jail. Once the Government had me behind bars, they had to figure out what to do with you. You’re teensy weensy body was given to my brother, in other words; your uncle and his wife, your aunt. My brother and sister in-law were given full custody of my only son. For years, relatives of yours still living in Mexico convinced me that allowing you to believe that your aunt and uncle were your real parents was the best decision. I remained away form the United States even after I was released from Prison. But time went by, and more so did I want to see what my child had grown up to look like. I told your relatives that I would go visit you, but promised not to reveal my true identity to you. I would pretend I was your uncle.”
“Huh?”
“Miguel, you must understand. I am your real father, and if there’s ever anything you need after I leave. Remember that I’ll will always be prepared to fight for you.” Two men with guns came out of the bushes. They did not wear the Moolah signature badge, but government badges. They grabbed Julio.
“What’s going on? Dad, who are these people? What have you not told me? Tell me everything, I must KNOW!!”
“There’s is not time. The important thing is that you are my son and must always remember that!! These men, they’re from the IRS. Right before my flight to the U.S., your relatives and I had a fight. They told me I was still a nincompoop and was not fit to visit. They burned my passport, my Visa, all my legal papers granting me permission to enter the United States. I was frustrated and decided I would not let them control me anymore. Using some marijuana that I secretly grew under my bed, I was able to raise the money to pay some Mexican convicts to get me a ride to the United States of American Border. They stole all my money and dropped me in the desert.” The two men flashed their IRS badges and began to drag Julio away to their car.
“Father!! Wait, what else is there to say?”
“I managed to escape from the desert and locate my brother. The car I got form a junk yard.” Miguel ran after the two men as they pushed Miguel’s father into their IRS car. The Engine started and they began to drive away.
“FAAAATTTTHHHERRRRR.............” Miguel screamed. Looking back towards his crying sun, Julio called out from the side of the IRS car.
“Son, get to the SUV and escape. I will be safe in Jail, or Mexico, or wherever they send me. It is you who are in danger. Escape; don’t be shy. I’m sure Jake and Cody already know about the illegal driving lessons your uncle has been giving you underground in the secret driving lesson lair. I helped him build it you know.”
“FAAAAAAATTTTHHHHEERRRRRRRR...............”
Jake and Cody didn’t get to see the whole IRS father uncle illegal immigrant Julio deal. They were too weak and were still inside the house eating shish kabobs. Once they were able to reach the outdoors, both of them were forced to use all their strength and try and drag Miguel into the SUV. However, the two boys were too weak so they just grabbed a gun off the ground and threatened M0iguel’s life. Easy as ABC.

Location: Bin Laden Mansion
Sub location: garage with Moolah

“Come on friends. Into the SUV!” The three men opened the front doors of the monstrous vehicle and jumped in. Moolah was at the wheel, Hitler in the passenger seat, and Osama had to hide under a bunch of towels used to mop up Urine. “We’re home free guys. He, He, stupid Hetty Longfellow. Wormley Airport, 7.1 miles, Here we come!! 13 minutes friends, 13 minutes and we’ll be ready to board our flight to Europe.


DIRECTIONS:

Head South on Fox Meade Cir toward Winmont CT

Turn Right at Briarcliff RD

Turn left at US-30

Turn left at US-34

Turn right at US-30

Turn right at W 11th Street

Continue on Rance RD

Arrive at Destination: “Wormley Airport” late=41.683918, lon=-88.262291

Location: Bin Laden Mansion
Sub location: outside in the courtyard.

Hetty has been freed from his dungeon. He is running with Jeff King and a Plutopian called Joe.

“What took you %$#& so long? I was trapped in the small dark room with naked Man clowns, would it have hurt to have rescued us a few minutes earlier?”
“We did our best human scum.”
“You’d had better done your best. Let’s get out of here, the rest of your kind oughtta be able to get the juveniles out of the house and bring ‘em to us later, right?”
“Of course humans scum. We are plutopians; the third most advanced race in this universe. If they’re still on the property, we’ll get them out without a scratch on their small little human bodies.”
Hetty smiled; then began frowning as the Bin Laden SUV drove past them. Miguel, Jake, and Cody all sat in the back seat waving as they went past.

Location: Bin Laden Mans----Wait a minute. It's not in the mansion anymore...
Real Location: Wormley Airport

It is necessary that you, as the reader of this document, understand the whereabouts of Wormley Airport. This airport, being wholly real is used primarily for one and two person flights in small planes. It is not for public transportation and does not use any of those large 747 planes are any planes normally seen at airports like O’Hare. This airport is smaller and is used only for smaller planes for leisure scenery flights.

“Sir! Why have you come here without first notifying us? The proper security procedures have not been set up. Should we close down the runway and kick everybody else out of the airport?”
“That won’t be necessary Sham. We’re not here for a Biological Weapon of mass destruction construction session. Our base in Oswego was infiltrated from the inside, we need a plane to get us out of here.” Pedestrians of the airport began to turn to look at Moolah when he said ‘biological weapon of mass destruction construction.’ Moolah shooed them away.
“Moolah, Unless you have illegally set up somewhere for you to land, you can’t go up in a plane without a charter. If you don’t have a charter, nobody will yet land in there airports. Things need to be arranged. Also, I don’t have any planes that can take you all the way across the Atlantic. You’ll have to land somewhere first and get another plane or at least stop to refuel at the coast.” Moolah stepped closer to the man he was talking too. He whispered into his ear,
“We could be getting followed. Just let us use the runway to let us launch one of our planes. Nobody else has to know....” Moolah passed a wad of bills behind his back and pressed them into Sham’s palm. Sham didn’t say anything for a moment, then spoke in his normal Business voice,
“This way fellows, Runway B7 is the one you’ve booked. Okay, I’ll show you everything you need to know.” Moolah and his friends all hi-fived each other. Did I mention Osama was still wearing that Towel over his face?

The three men went into the one-person bathroom of the small airport together and shut the door behind them. A man in sunglasses was waiting for them in one of the stalls. Once the door was shut and locked he walked up to meet them.
“You have escaped safety I see...” the man took off his sunglasses and twitched his eyes. He wasn’t really a man (He wasn't a woman either), but rather a previous Plutopian government official. This was Mr. Perry. “Has anyone followed you?”
‘Not that we have seen,” Moolah stated.
“Hmmm, that is surprising. I have known Hetty for a reasonable amount of time. We’ve had our disagreements and fights. He doesn’t usually just let you run away, he follows you until you give him whatever it he was chasing you for.”
“What was he chasing you for?” Mr. Perry shot Moolah a deadly stare.
“He was chasing my son...and He got him. Presently, I do not even know where my son is, His name is Jerry, did you know that?” the Plutopian said brushing a tear of his cheek. He took out a bottle of Ice Mountain clear crystal water from his jacket and took a long cold drink.

Location: Hetty’s Car

“We’ve got to follow them you know. Jeez, I am tired of chasing all these stupid bozos. I gotta take a drink.” Hetty took out a bottle of water, unscrewed the cap, and took a sip.

Location: Moolah’s SUV

Jake and Cody sat in the back of the car. They burped, then Jake took a drink of water out of a bottle of water he found lying around in a Sewer. The boy back-washed, then offered Cody a drink.
“Nah, I’m not to found of Man spit. I’ll just drink out of this bottle I found in the Trash can.”
“Ewww! You drink out of the trash. That’s Un-hygienic.”

Location: Some random jailhouse.

Julio sat in his jail cell ‘cause he was bad and did illegal stuff. All he had eaten since he’d arrived was a piece of stale bread and a bottle of water.

Location: At Walgreens

Tim stood by one of the shelves in the medicine section of Walgreensã and the corner of Briarcliff and Douglas. He was looking for a non-prescription sleep medicine to help him recover from his cold. After getting knocked out and run over by an alien species from Pluto, his Immune System was kind ruining slow. They boy picked a package of Tylenol Pills and walked over to the checkout counter. He bought the package, then went into the parking lot and took a pill. He bought a bottle of water to wash down the taste. In other words, He drank a bottle of water from Ice Mountain.

Suddenly, Hetty was in the middle of a forest with Julio, Mr. Perry, Tim, and the boys.


P.S. This Document has been written by Nicholas Makara. Information has been obtained from a African Soap Salesman who was flying over the Bin Laden in a helicopter when he dropped his video camera. The camera fell into a tree and recorded the scenes.